confusion
by lemon80
Summary: They are good friends, but could they ever be more than friends? she wishes they could, but does he ? BRAND SPANKING NEW CHAPTER! R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: this is all fiction. i dont own mcfly or anyone else!

this is my first attempt at writing so hope its not too bad ! enjoy !

I was rudely awoken by my phone ringing, the tinny sounding tones blaring from the phone's speaker, invading in on my dreams. One arm ventured out from beneath the warm duvet and felt around my bedside table. Blindly searching for the source of the offending noise. I lazily grasped the phone and attempted to answer it without opening my eyes, still trying to remain in a sleep like state for as long as physically possible.

"Hello" I croaked down the phone. "Lola wake up you lazy sod, how are you still asleep its one o clock in the afternoon for god's sake!!" I instantly recognised the dulcet tones of my best friend Danny. You would think being one of my best friends Danny. You would think being one of my best friends and having known me for over ten years Danny would have grasped the fact that I don't wake up in the morning unless I absolutely have to and considering today is a Saturday and the first day of my Easter break from university, nothing was going to get me out of my nice, cosy cocoon of sleep that I had formed in my bed.

I promptly told him I was asleep and hung up. I slowly drifted off to sleep again, trying to recapture my dream of being swept of my feet by a handsome stranger, but to no avail. I fell into a dream where I was being chased by random aliens with sugar cubes for heads. Not long after I had drifted off to sleep, my bedroom door slowly creaked open and two sets of feet could be heard slowly creeping into the room, trying to avoid making any noise but at the same time trying to navigate their way through my debris laden floor.

"WAKE UP" I awoke with a start and rolled off my bed in shock at the sudden loud noise. As I tried to unravel myself from my duvet I could hear Danny chuckling to himself at how funny he thought he was. I slowly got up off the floor with a large scowl on my face, which shut Danny up pretty quickly, although I could see the beginnings of a cheeky smile constantly threatening to appear on his face.

"I hate you why the hell are you terrorizing me so god damn early in the day??" I stomped about my room until I saw another figure silently giggling in the corner of my room. I was instantly mortified as I realised that I was standing in front of Harry, the guy that was one of my good friends but more importantly he is the guy that I had secretly been lusting after for far too long now. Harry standing in my messy disorganised room, where bras and other random pieces of underwear were strewn all over the place along with various other bits of rubbish and clothes, was in itself quite embarrassing, but the fact that I was standing in my old Donald duck t-shirt that I had, had since the age of twelve and some frankly hideous shorts that should never see the light of day, really took the biscuit. Harry grinned at me. "Nice t-shirt think I had that in blue when I was eight." he chuckled.

"Well aren't the two of just bloody hilarious" I said as I grasped a hoody and attempted to direct the attention away from me. "So what are you doing here? Is there a purpose or are you just bored and plan on abusing me to keep yourselves amused?"

"well a bit of both actually, we are here to bring you out with us I want to show you the new stuff we have been working on, us abusing you is just a pleasant bonus!" Danny exclaimed. "go get dressed, you

have ten minutes - we will go raid your cupboards for some of your mum's cooking - Harry you had Lola's mum's biscuits they are literally like an explosion of yummy ness in your mouth" Danny proceeded

to walk out of my room and downstairs continuing his sermon on the delights of my mother's cooking. I quickly ran around searching for some clean clothes in my bombsite of a bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

The four boys continued to work throughout the day as I listened and gave my opinion on all their new stuff that they had been working on. We eventually left around nine. I walked along the road lazily chatting with Danny. It was a crisp spring evening as we strolled along the roads near my house. Harry, Tom and Dougie had gone in search of food.

"So you really like the new stuff then ?" Danny asked gingerly. "Course I do, I would have told you if i didn't" He smiled quickly and then looked at me more seriously. " whats up Lolly? you have been kinda quiet all day" I could see him fiddiling with his hands like he would be able to see what the problems was somewhere on his hands. "im grand, just a bit tired." I answered a little too quickly. I should have known by now he never fell for the "Im grand" answer. He figured out years ago that whenever I said that I was just brushing him off. He stopped abruptly and grabbed me by the hand and dragged me into the nearby park.We kept walking in silence until we reached the swings in the playground.

This had become a ritual whenever we were walking home. Especially after nights out in our local pub, a group of us would usually drunkenly stumble into the park and play in the playground until we were running the risk of falling asleep on the slides. Danny and I also came here, just the two of us, to catch up and chat as we were both so busy we didn't see as much of each other as we did when we were younger.

"so come on spill- even though i think i know what it is " he said in an arrogant manner. " ya know Dan i love ya to bits and all but you can be a right arrogant jerk sometimes ya know that?"

"stop avoiding the question Lola!" I glanced at him but quickly turned away when I caught his eye. I slowly swung on the swing and stared into the vast space that was in front of me, quietly hoping that he wouldn't persist with his questioning. I was never one for discussing my feelings. I gave off an aura of being reasonably confident but i was actually painfully shy, so discussing my innermost thoughts with anyone even with someone who knew me as well as Danny, wasnot something i would partake in voluntarily.

"its Harry isn't it ?" My thoughts were interrupted again by Danny. He had caught me completely off guard, i thought i had been very stealth like in keeping my feelings for Harry well underwraps from public view. " what about Harry ?" I attempted to say with an airy quality but it just came out as a nervous uttering.

"Lolly i can read you like a book, i know you like him!" I turned to face him and found his piercing blue eyes staring back at me. I felt like he was trying to gain an answer from me just by looking into my eyes. "course i like him he's a great guy! we are good friends." i muttered not really thinking that danny would beleive a word i was saying. He let out a frustrated sigh. " you know thats not what i meant, why can you never be honest with me, you bottle everything up- its like you don't let anyone see the real you ! Im not trying to pry Lolly i just wanna help." Danny seemed to be getting more frustrated with me by the minute

I gazed at my hands guility, not really knowing what to sa. I couldn't deny anything he had just said. A cool breeze blew through park sending a shiver through me. I clasped my arms around my body. I wasn't sure if it was because i was cold or an attempt to comfor myself at the recent public unvailing of some of my biggest personal flawa. I could feel Danny looking at me pleading for an answer. " do you not trust me or something lolly, i mean i tell you everything, probably too much sometimes- and you never seem to let go and just vent or rant about how you are really feeling" I could hear Danny getting upset now, this had obviously been bothering him for a while.

I slowly raised my head to look at him. My eyes meeting his in an honest gaze. " of course i trust you Dan, I trust you more than anyone- i just ... I dunno im just not very good at laying my feelings out there - I guess im afraid of getting hurt or being humiliated" it felt stupid saying it like that but thats pretty much how it felt.

" lolly you never have to be embarassed with me, ill never judge you! I only wanna be there for you, like you have been for me. no-one gets through life without having someone there to help you! so come on tell me how you want to have your wicked way with Harry, i've seen you giving him that look of "i've dreamt about you naked"" I burst out laughing only Danny could turn a heartfelt conversation into a conversation about dreaming of having your dirty way with one of your friends. " ok you got me, i do like Harry but its just a phase or something nothing is gonna come of it" The grin that had been placed on Danny's face changed to look of confusion. " why not ? he's a good guy - Don't get me wrong I don't think any guy is good enough for my Lolly but if you MUST! he isn't a bad choice" I smiled at his overprotective nature, then just shrugged my shoulders. " yeah he is a great guy but we are just friends, he doesn't see me as anything other than one of the lads. Which is grand I value him as a friend, I don't wanna lose that by making him feel awkward" I said honestly. It was weird I never really spoke about my feelings or insecurities but since Danny had confronted me it seemed to just flow out of me like i discussed this stuff all the time.

"Why wouldn't he like you ? - ok look i don't know if he does or not, id probably be the last person he would tell considering he knows how protective i am of you but I really wouldn't be suprised if he did - He thinks the world of you, he talks about you all the time."

" yeah well i doubt it" i brushed him off ."Come on lets go back to mine, mum has probably restocked since your last invasion." we started walking towards my house. " Lolly you shouldn't be so quick to brush away your chances - you're a catch any guy would be lucky to have you!!" he gave my shoulders a squeeze. I leant in and gave him a one armed hug. As we reached my door Danny marched in and greeted my mum with a big hug and proceeded to debate the days football results with my dad. He was like the son they never had. Always the charmer.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next couple of weeks i didn't see Danny or the boys much, they had been recording and then off doing promotion all over the country.

I obviously had thought of Harry alot - I mean come on ask any girl with a crush how much they think about said person, its gonna take up a large chunk of their day dreaming time.

I hadn't seen him for ages and i wasn't expecting to see him any time soon as i knew the lads were very busy.

One day while i was working in the local coffee shop, I was cleaning up after the lunchtime rush when i heard the little bell over the door tinkle loudly. I quickly turned to greet the customer only to be greeted by the lazy, sultry smile i had thought so much about.

"Hey stranger! hows life?" he greeted me with a hug. " hey im good long time no see! What are you doing here i thought you guys were recording today?"

"yeah we are but the lads are recording vocals this afternoon and lets be honest they don't need me there overshadowing them with my incredible vocal talent" he said with a cheeky glint in his eye. I giggled at him like a schoolgirl. God how did this guy do this to me? i turned into a pathetic mess around him sometimes.

"so what can i get you ? im guessing a chocolate latte to go - am i right ?"

"Ah you're not going to get rid of me that easily! ill take the chocolate latte but im staying here to annoy you for the afternoon as 1. I have nothing else to do and 2. I haven't seen you in bloody ages so come on tell me all that is going on in the wonderful world of Lola"

"well if you must i mean i can' t really kick you out because im too busy" i giggled and gestured around the bare cafe.

We spent the day chatting and catching up. He was filling me in on all the drunken hijinks that the boys had been getting up to while on promotion. I think we gave a little old lady a heart attack as when she walked in all that could be heard was Harry describing in great detail the predicament Tom and his girlfriend had found themselves in when they got a little too adventurous in a lift, only for the doors to open in front of a bunch of school kids and their teacher, who of course was a very stern looking nun.

I don't think i had laughed so much in ages, but time crept by and soon it was time to close up. As i locked the door to the cafe, I turned to say bye to Harry. " what do you mean bye you are coming to the studio."

Before i knew it I was walking through the doors of their fancy studio, still clad in my stained apron. As i walked into the room where the boys were congregated I was greeted by Danny giving me a cheesy grin, which i could tell was asking me " what have you two been up to ??" he always was a dirty minded little freak. I just rolled my eyes at him and slumped on the couch where i was promptly joined by Harry. We spent the evening catching up and planning a big night out for the following weekend.


	4. Chapter 4

I peered into the mirror trying to delicately apply my mascara without smudging it. "Lola come on we're already a half an hour late the lads are going to be giving out yards" I heard my friend Ruby screach up the stairs. i quickly grabbed my bag and took a quick look in the mirror to adjust my top .

"finally you're ready! can we go now ?" we gathered our coats and walked out the door. Ruby and I were on our way over to the lads house to have a few drinks before heading out on our big night out. I shivered slightly as we walked up the road, partly because it was a bit cold and partly out of nervous anticipation, I could feel that it was going to be an eventful night. It ususally was when we all went out together- we aren't really fans of the phrase "drinking in moderation" the night usually ended with bodies strewn across the floor asleep and at least one person becoming well acquainted with the inside of a toilet bowl .

We reached the boys' house and rang the doorbell. Within seconds the door swung open and we were greeted by a very merry looking Danny and Dougie. " you girls are late! we have been drinking for over an hour. you have some major catching up to ." they pulled us inside and placed a drink in our hands. Unsuprisingly we were the last to arrive. The four boys were gathered in the sitting room along with our other friends Lucie,James, Roberta and Tom's girlfriends Lyndsey.

We all sat around playing drinking games and chatting. We hadn't all gone out toghether in ages. The taxis arrived but considering there was ten of us me and Danny had a taxi to ourselves. "so you planning on having your wicked way with Harry tonight ? I know you didn't get that dressed up just for the fun of it " he lightly slurred at me. "Danny i take pride in my appearance, Im not going to be having my wicked way with anyone" i drunkenly giggled.

"whatever...you look great and i could see that Harry thought so to" he said as the taxi pulled up outside the club. He had caught me off guard with that last comment but i brushed it off as Danny just stirring the pot as per usual.

As soon as we got into the club all the girls launched themselves onto the dancefloor shaking their bums to "booytlicious." After working up a thirst, we found the lads knocking back various shots in a booth to the side of the dancefloor.

Later that night after a very high octane dance to girls aloud i stumbled over to our booth trying to give my feet some rest. As pretty as my shoes were, they were not very kind to my feet. I could feel that familiar prickly feeling invading the souls of my feet . As i slumped on the couch and attempted to soothe my aching toes i was joined by Harry who looked a little worse for wear.

"What are you doing over here? you are usually burning it up on the dancefloor"

"My feet are being tortured by my shoes i thought i would be nice and give them a rest" i said while massaging my feet . Harry lunged forward attempting to grab my foot, but i moved causing him to nearly fall flat on his face but he grabbed the couch just in time. " why'd you move? I was gonna help you with your foot" he said with a puzzled look on his face. "thanks but I can't stand the thought of people touching my feet and before you say it yeah i know im weird" i said with a giggle.

He proceeded to look at me like I had ten heads. " yeah you are but you're good weird - come on I give the absolute best massages." I could see he wasn't going to take no for an answer and he had that mischievous glint in his eye, that usually made me go slightly weak at the knees but now it was making me a bit nervous. I promptly moved my feet as far away as possible from him, just as he lunged forward again and started tickiling me.

Eventually he stopped and let me catch my breath from laughing so much. We were sat very close together now, I could feel his warm breath on the side of my face. I turned to look at him only to meet his eyes. I tried to read his expression but he wasn't giving anything away. We sat there in an intense gaze neither one wanting to break it.

We were eventually interrupted by the raucous pairing of Ruby and Dougie, who knocked over half the glasses on the table as they stumbled into the booth.

I thought i heard Harry let out a low sigh but i couldn't be sure. butterflies had been doing somersaults in my stomach for the past ten minutes . I nervously fiddled with my fingers as the other two told us some funny story about Danny falling over in the middle of the dancefloor. I was beginning to sober up slightly . Had i just made it really obvious how I felt about Harry? I didn't want to make him feel awkward or feel bad for not returning my feelings. I battled with my thoughts for a few minutes before i jumped up and said i was going to get some water. I found my way throught the crowd, got some water, and then proceeded to the outdoor smoking section to ironically get some fresh air to clear my head.

I found a space in the corner and leant against the wall. I gazed into my glass of water hoping it would dissolve me of my feelings for Harry and just let me get on with enjoying my night.

"what are you doing out here you don't smoke." It took me a few minutes to register someone was talking to me. I slowly looked up and was met by the face I so wanted to see yet so wanted to forget.

"im just getting some air its roasting in there." there was an awkward silence, I continued to gaze into my glass. I felt him slide down the wall beside me to sit on the ground, I then felt a hand pulling at my jeans to make me sit down. I obeyed, and followed his actions and slid down the wall. "you ok, you seem a bit pensive." I said after noticing the worried look on his face - hoping i hadn't caused it. He glanced at me quickly but then continued gazing into his glass.

I decided not to push it - Harry could be quite like me in that he wasn't one to divulge all that he was thinking. As we sat there i felt him put his arm around me and pull me towards him, resting his chin on the top of my head which had found itself leaning comfortably against his warm chest. We sat like that for a few minutes in silence.

"I miss you when we're away " I heard him murmur before resting a soft kiss on the top of my head.The butterflys in my stomach were now swirling around like they were on a rollercoaster. " I miss you to. its weird not seeing you guys as much anymore." I eventually whispered.

I raised my head to look at him. He didn't look at me, he just gazed blankly in fron of him. I was about to stand up when he turned to look at me like he was about to say something. Just as he opened his mouth Ruby staggered over and told us to get a move on that everyone was waiting for us outside. I quickly got up and moved towards the exit. Part of me was dying to know what Harry was about to say but the other half never wanted to know with fear of hearing the words i was so sure he was going to say.

As we arrived at the door i could see Danny looking at me expectantly, he knew within seconds that nothing had occurred. I moved towards the group stopping just on the outskirts as Ruby and Harry joined us. Danny came up to me and gave my shoulders a light squeeze. " you ok babe? " " Course I am " I said with a horribly fake smile that he didn't beleive for a second. He wrapped his arms around me in a quick hug and gave me a comforting smile as we moved towards the taxi.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning I woke up, curled up on Danny's couch, with a blinding headache. I slowly stumbled down the stairs to the kitchen in search of some water and hopefully a strong painkiller or two.

As I manoeuvred my way into the kitchen I was greeted by some very hung over looking faces. Tom was attempting to cook some breakfast but didn't seem to be able to concentrate long enough to actually put the food on the pan. Dougie and Lucy were slumped over the table clutching their head and stomach respectively, from the look of her it had been Lucy's turn to make friends with the toilet.

Ruby seemed to be pretty sprightly, busying herself around the kitchen. I fell into one of the kitchen chairs and rested my head against the cold table.

Just as I did this, Lucy jumped up and ran quickly in the direction of the toilet - looks like she and the toilet had more to discuss!

Danny walked in a few minutes later, and without saying a word he swung the fridge door open, grabbed the orange juice and loudly guzzled it down.

"AAAAAAAAHHhhhhhhhhh now im ready for the day!" Danny exclaimed as he drained the last of the juice from the carton. There were a few murmurs of response from the kitchen's various occupants but noone really acknowledged him.

We spent most of the day lying around the boy's house watching TV and recuperating after the night before. Lucy seemed to have broken off her friendship with the toilet and the incessant painful banging in our heads had lessened to a mere thud every now and again when we got too excited.

After watching yet another re-run of "Will and Grace" I ventured upstairs to gather my things before going home. As I blindly wandered up the stairs in a hung over haze I bumped into Harry, who hadn't really ventured out of his room too much during the day.

"Oooh sorry im in my own little world" I said as I steadied myself on the banister. "Its ok im a bit the same today - shots are not my friend!! You heading home?"

"Yeah think I need to head home and make myself look human again" I said as I made my way into Danny's room to get my stuff. Harry followed me in and sat on the bed. "So did you have a good night last night?" he said while trying to flatten his hair roughly with his hands. " yeah it was a good laugh we haven't all been out together in ages, but mother of god are my head and feet paying for it now" I moaned with a chuckle. I sat on the bed beside him and leant against the pillows behind me. "Tell me about it I've barely been able to move out of bed all day."

we sat on the bed engrossed in a comfortable silence staring at the ceiling.

"How the hell have I not noticed those stars on Danny's roof before, when did he put them up" Harry said as he stared at the ceiling with a seriously confused look upon his face. He was scrunching his nose up and squinting his eyes like some kind of weird mutant rabbit. I couldn't help but laugh at him. "what are you laughing at?" "Your face I've never seen someone look so confused in my life …… and my best friend is Danny Jones for god's sake" I snorted through bursts of laughter.

"Hey it's not that funny" he said with a smile. He rolled on his side to look at me, still silently giggling at him. After I had calmed down I turned to look at him. He had his eyes loosely closed, they flickered open as I turned towards him. He placed a light smile on his face. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach beginning to emerge from their cocoons again. This was the second time in less than twenty four hours that I had found myself in a very close proximity to Harry, wanting nothing more than to kiss his soft, supple lips.

I closed my eyes in an attempt to stop Harry gaining access to my thoughts. I could feel his warm breath lightly blowing against my face, moving the wisps of hair that had fallen in front of my eyes. Although my stomach was churning with a mix of stale alcohol and nerves, and my head was a whizzing roundabout of thought, I felt immensely comfortable, I didn't want to be anywhere else in that moment.

I could feel his breathing becoming slower and deeper in rhythm with my own. Just as I drifted off to sleep I felt an arm lazily snake itself around my waist and rest itself comfortably against the bare skin between my t-shirt and shorts. Gently grazing my skin with his own.

"Jesus, Lola when I said id give you a lift home I meant today!" I said as I walked into my room. I was greeted by the sight of Lola and Harry asleep on my bed. They were lying facing each other; Harry had his arm wrapped around her pulling her in closely to him. Her head was rested just below his, nuzzling into his chest. If you didn't know better you would think they were a couple, they looked very natural together. As much as I was happy for Lolly, Harry was not a one girl guy, he got bored very easily. I really hoped that Lola wouldn't take too much from this. I walked slowly out of the room and went down the stairs.

A little while later, Harry walked into the kitchen looking very sleepy. "So you're out of my room then?" I said lightly. "Eh yeah must have fallen asleep when I was in there chatting to Lola." he mumbled while opening the fridge. "Looked pretty cosy to me mate." I said tentatively. "We just fell asleep, man. I mean come on its Lolly." Harry said quickly while rummaging around the fridge for food. I felt bad for Lola; he didn't even seem to recognise that Lola was of the female species, let alone that she really liked him. After piling a plate high with food Harry muttered that he was going back to bed.

As I walked out of the kitchen, leaving Danny staring into space as usual, I felt nerves rise in my already unwell feeling stomach. How had I let myself get into that position? Danny would kill me if I went near Lola. As much as Danny was my best friend, he would not trust me with her. He had good reason to not trust me. My definition of a long term relationship is if the girl manages to not bore the hell out of me after two weeks. That very rarely happened and if it did they were most definitely gone by the third week. I just couldn't get Lola out of my head. She was special. She knew there was a much deeper side to me. Most girls fell for the confident, arrogant persona I had created for myself. They liked my cocky nature. I guess I acted like I was some kind of "bad boy" but to be honest that wasn't me at all. I was a pretty confident guy but I was also full of insecurities. Around Lola I felt I could show those insecurities without being judged. Whenever I was around her I felt good about myself. I really liked her and just wished I could tell her but that wasn't going to happen. I know she doesn't see me like that. To her im just one of the lads, Danny's grungy band mate, a friend and only a friend.

I awoke with a start, hearing a door of the next room close loudly. I was alone, there was no arm wrapped around me holding me close. Had I dreamt it? just as I tried to gather my thoughts Danny walked into the room. "Ah so you're both up now come on ill give you a lift home." I quickly gathered my things in a fluster, not really fully awake. After the short drive, I got out of the car, promising Danny I would call over later with some of my mum's food. I walked slowly down my drive thinking about all the events of the last twenty four hours, not really sure if any of it made sense.

I was absolutely exhausted after the last night's activities but being a good friend. I kept my promise to Danny and strolled into the house later that evening laden down with my mum's lasagne, which just so happened to be Danny's favourite. Danny had my mum wrapped around his little finger. I think she is still hoping that we will get married and have lots of babies. I don't think she has ever given up hope since she walked in on me and Danny kissing when we were fourteen, little did she know that there was little or no romance involved. He just wanted to know if he was a good kisser or not after a girl he had asked out had turned him down. The poor thing had gotten it into his little head that he would never get a girlfriend because he was a bad kisser, all because ONE girl turned him down. It didn't last very long though, as a week later the most popular girl in school admitted she had a crush on him and Danny was back to his charming yet cocky self.

I sat at the table as the four boys wolfed down their dinner. For at least five minutes all that could be heard were the sounds of chewing and the clatter of cutlery against their ever emptying plates.

Danny sat back in his chair, stretched his arms out and released a raucous burp, to which I quickly responded to by slapping him on the back of the head. "What I was just showing appreciation for your mum's culinary skills" he said with a smirk. As the other boys finished up their meals they followed Danny's lead by letting loud burps fill the air. It was like their grotesque version of the dawn chorus.

Whenever we are tired me and Danny tend to fall into a mode of conversation that only contains one word answers and various random noises that seem to have a multitude of meanings, yet we always seem to know what the other is saying. Tonight was one of those nights. We were all splayed out on the couches, none of us really having the strength or energy to sit up properly. We were half way through watching a movie when I noticed Harry staring at me. "What?" I announced in his direction. "Oh uh nothing eh I was just trying to figure out what the hell you two are going on about" he said quickly. I thought I saw a light blush creep up his chiselled face as he turned his attention towards the television. I snuggled down into the couch getting lost in my thoughts, not really paying any attention to the movie any more.

I was unaware that I was not the only person in the room lost in their own thoughts of confusion.

"Lolly! Come on lolly wake up!" my eyes flickered open to be met by Danny's piercing blue eyes. "What time is it" I said as I attempted to stretch out. "Its just after ten come on ill walk you home don't think you want to sleep on the couch again" he was right I needed my nice comfy bed. I got up and we left the house to start the short journey to my house.

We walked along in a comfortable silence, listening to the noises of the neighbourhood, dogs barking, music blaring from people's cars and the odd bird chirping in a tree. Shockingly enough all I could think of was Harry. "What's up Lolly? You look all confused" I heard Danny say, it took me a few seconds to remember that he was walking beside me I had been so distracted by my thoughts. "Nothing ….. Ok well actually that's a lie. Im all confused about Harry. Most of the time I don't think he is in anyway interested but then he does little things that give me a glimmer of doubt. What do you think Dan, am I being stupid?" he looked at me for a minute then looked straight ahead, I could see he was trying to choose his words carefully. This in itself told me he didn't think that Harry was interested. "Well for one you aren't being stupid. Harry is acting a little weird these days and I can't really put my finger on why but saying that unfortunately Lolly im pretty sure he only sees you as a friend." As he said the last part he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me towards him, knowing that, that isn't what I wanted to hear. My heart sunk, I know Danny would always be honest with me, but I also know that if he thought there was even a tiny glimmer of hope he would tell me, always wanting me to be happy. As we arrived at my door he pulled me into a big bear hug. "Come on, chin up it's not the end of the world it just means you are available for when Johnny Depp comes and sweeps you of your feet" he said with a grin. I couldn't help but smile at him. "Thanks Dan you're the best." I gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked into my house.

As I lay in bed that night I thought about how much, above everything else, I valued Harry as a friend. I couldn't let my feelings come between us. He meant too much to me. That's it I just had to get over him. Not that, that was going to be an easy task but it had to be done!


	6. Chapter 6

It was a Friday night and I was putting my make up on as I was heading out to the club in town, Toxic, with some of my friends from university. I wasn't really that up for going out but if I was to get over Harry and move on, I had to go out and meet new people.

Later that night I strolled up to the bar to get myself a drink. The club was heaving. There were people everywhere, yet I felt quite alone. All my friends from university were either wrapped around their boyfriends or off stalking the people in the V.I.P. section.

"Vodka and coke please?" I asked the bar man. "Ill get that!" I heard someone say behind me as the barman returned with my drink. "Thanks but you don't have to do that" I tried to give the barman my money but the guy got there first. As he turned to face me, I recognized him as ruby's friend, John. He was a nice enough guy but widely recognized as a serious womaniser who tried to charm the pants off anything with a heartbeat.

"Oh hi John I didn't recognise you there, thanks for the drink ill get you back "

"Don't be silly when a guy sees a pretty girl all alone at the bar it is his duty to get her a drink" he said with a wide smile. I laughed. I wasn't really sure if he was joking or just overtly sleazy, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and presumed he was joking.

"So how are you? Is ruby here? I haven't seen her in ages!" he said while looking around for any sign of Ruby. "No I'm out with some of my friends from Uni. it's a bit of a random night tonight; I haven't seen any of the usual people that are out on a Friday."

The conversation continued from there, we ended up having a big long chat in one of the booths that were surrounding the dance floor. He was very flirty and was full of complimentary lines. I recognised when he was using a line on me but if im honest I could see myself falling for each and every one of them. The lights in the club turned on and I realised I had a message on my phone.

**_Message received From Danny: your mum says you're out. I'm bored where are you?_**

I quickly texted back saying that I was at toxic with my Uni. Friends, about to head home and that I would call him tomorrow.

John guided me towards the cloak room to get my coat. He rested his hand on my lower back, gently rubbing his thumb against my skin. Throughout the night I had become quite enamoured with him. I knew I would wake up tomorrow and not be in any way interested in him, he was the exact opposite of anyone I would be interested in going out with but the mix of alcohol, his constant complements and his flirty nature was making me very attracted to him. I guess when your heart is yearning for a certain person to act like that towards you, when someone does you can't help but at least temporarily fall for it. Even if it was only for one night, the feel of his skin slowly grazing against mine sent shivers up my spine. As the queue moved I gently leant back into him, he placed his hands on my hips then proceeded to place light airy kisses on my neck and shoulders. I felt my heart beat quicken and my breath was beginning to catch in my throat as i felt his warm breath on my skin. I found myself forgetting that there were hundreds of people around us. I felt like it was just the two of us alone in our own little world. The queue moved again slowly and he lightly guided me to the front and I collected my coat.

As we moved out of the queue and out the door John entwined his fingers in mine. The cold air from the night sky caught me off guard as we exited the club, goose bumps started to form on my skin and I shivered slightly. John led me towards the road. We stopped at the corner of the street.He slowly rubbed his hands up and down my arms attempting to warm me up. I stared at his face taking in every feature. He lightly brushed away the hair from my face so that he could see straight into my eyes. We stood there for a few minutes examining each other, and then he slowly moved forward and captured my lips in a warm sensual kiss .He pulled away slowly as my eyes flickered open once again. I recognised the look of lust in his eyes and before I knew what was happening his lips crashed against mine once again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, lightly running my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. He placed his hands around my waist and gradually pulled me closer to him as the kiss became more and more passionate. Although it was slow and sensual it was filled with raw lust and passion. For those few minutes we were lost in each other but as we pulled away again, to recapture our breath, the moment was gone and soon after we were again just two acquaintances standing in front of one another.

As I moved away from him I glanced to the side of me and I saw Danny's car, inside Danny and Harry were staring at me.


	7. Chapter 7

I took a double-take to make sure it was them. What were they doing here? John noticed my confusion and followed my eyes to see what I was looking at. "Oh I see your

chauffeur has arrived." he said in a smarmy manner.

"What?" I couldn't really make sense of it all I walked towards the car, while i did this Danny rolled down his window. "What are you doing here?" "What are you doing with him?"

we both said at the same time. "I came to give you a lift home." "What do you mean what am I doing with him?" we said simultaneously again. We were not the most patient of

pairs.

I turned to apologise to John for Danny's rudeness, only to see him strolling off in the other direction, without a second glance at me. As much as I wasn't interested in him, he

didn't know that. He could have at least said bye I mean its common courtesy for god's sake. Danny saw my look of indignation and promptly told me to get in the car. I decided

for once to do as I was told and without another word I hopped into the warm car.

As we drove I could feel the warmth coming back into my fingers. I hadn't realised how cold I actually was. I gazed out the window and watched as the streets flew by. I was

feeling quite dejected, tonight was supposed to be the start of me moving on, but it hadn't really worked I was still alone, used and rejected by someone I wasn't even interested in

and once again I was sitting close to Harry wishing that he wouldfall madly in love with me. I always seemed to end up with Harry at the end of nights out recently, if only it was in

the manner i wanted so much.

I looked into the front of the car they were both just looking into the road ahead as if I wasn't there, I took in a couple of deep breaths as I felt the

familiar prickly feeling behind my eyes, small tears were threatening to make an appearance. I blinked back my tears and composed myself just as we pulled into a familiar road.

"I thought you were offering me a lift home?" I said as we pulled into the drive of the lad's house. "Ah stop moaning this is like your second home and I want you to make your hot

chocolate, mine doesn't taste nice I tried making it earlier and it was a big gloopy mess." moaned Danny. As we got out of the car I noticed that Harry hadn't said a word since I

had met them outside the club in fact Harry hadn't even looked at me since I saw him staring at me and John. This was so unlike him, he was usually so friendly and chatty I

couldn't really understand it.

As we went into the house Danny and I proceeded towards the kitchen, Harry muttered a goodnight and jogged up the stairs to his room slamming his door when he reached it.

After the night's events I was feeling a bit vulnerable but I was really quite shaken by Harry's coldness towards me, it was so out of character.

I knew the lads were not John's biggest fans ( probably because he was more successful with the ladies ) but I didn't think me kissing John could be that offensive to him that he

would give me the cold shoulder as a result. I pondered these thoughts as I made Danny's hot chocolate.

What was she doing kissing that guy? He is an absolute idiot. I think Danny was as shocked as I was when we saw her kissing John. Lola is usually so sensible, she doesn't just go

off with random guys it's not her style. She has class. Why does he have her and I don't? I am far more deserving than that idiot. He goes after anything with a pulse; Lola is far too

special for the likes of him.When she saw us looking at her she quickly made her way over to us. The image of her and John seems to be burnt into my memory I can't bring myself

to say anything to her in case I blurt out what I am really thinking. After Danny and Lola argue for a few minutes, John has the arrogance to just walk off on her. Lola didn't really

seem that bothered by him leaving, but I saw a glimmer of rejection quickly move across her face. She got into the car and we made our way back home. I still couldn't bring

myself to talk to her. For some reason I was annoyed with her. I knew I was being completely unreasonable, but I think my raging jealousy was raring its ugly head and manifesting

it self in the form of anger towards the girl I could feel myself falling for more every time I saw her.

I had not seen that much of her recently and I thought I was eventually beginning to get over her, but seeing her with john knocked me for six. It was nearly like a physical reaction,

the second my eyes rested on her standing outside the club I felt like I had been punched repeatedly in the stomach, like someone was trampling all over my heart and then using it

for a game of football. When we arrived at the house I made a quick exit and ran up the stairs to my room.

Once I had finished making the hot chocolate, we curled up on the couch, clutching large mugs filled with rich steamy hot chocolate. "So what were you doing with John? You

know he is a complete player Lola!" asked Danny. "Nothing I just met him in the club and we were chatting that's all" I protested.

"looked like a LOT more than chatting to me! Lolly you really don't want to hook up with a guy like that, to him you would just be another notch on a very well worn bed post"

lectured Danny.

He was a total hypocrite but that was a discussion for another day. "Im not going to be another notch on his bedpost Dan because I will not be going anywhere near his bed,

believe me! It was just a kiss nothing more. I am in no way interested so you can stop all this overprotective stuff" I said with a smirk. He threw me a dirty look trying to pretend

that he wasn't being overprotective. I could see he was trying to derive a defence for himself but he gave up pretty quickly, knowing damn well I would win any argument hands

down.

"What's up with Harry? He didn't utter a single word the whole time we were in the car." I slurped at my hot chocolate awaiting Danny's reply. At the moment he was attempting

to lick a bubble of froth off his nose - I really felt like I had his full attention!

"I don't know he was pretty hyper earlier maybe he tired himself out …… actually it was his idea to go and get you, he wanted some of your hot chocolate too. I wonder why he

went to bed." Danny eventually pondered out loud. Now I was even more confused than before.

"You don't think he is annoyed that I kissed John do you? I mean I know you guys aren't his biggest fans but I didn't think it was that big a deal."

Danny took in what I had said and seemed to be weighing up different scenarios in his head. "You know I don't know, because out of all four of us Harry probably gets on the

best with John - I mean they aren't best friends or anything near it, but I don't think there is any bad blood there. That is weird though the way he changed when we saw you. He

has been acting a little bit weird these last couple of weeks but he seemed to be back to good old Harry today." As he finished I saw a small look of regret creep across Danny's

face. He had seen the look of sadness slowly take over my face while I had listened to what he had said. I felt my heart sink in my body. Was I losing my friend? Danny moved

over to my couch and sat down beside me. "Hey come on, don't look so sad." he wrapped his arm around me. "Danny what have I done? Even when Harry has been at his most

hung over, his most ill and even when he has had two hours sleep and has had to get up at four in the morning to go to an interview and is worse than Oscar the grouch I have

always gotten a warm hello and a big hug. What have I done that has him so annoyed at me? And don't say he isn't as he blatantly is this is not normal Harry behaviour." I blurted

out in a frenzy of frustration and sadness. I was being quite dramatic but between the night's events and still harbouring feelings for Harry, at this moment in time I felt like I was

being rejected at every angle. romance, friendship and random fling on a night out. What the hell was so wrong with me tonight? that no one apart from Danny wanted to spend any

significant amount of time with me.

"Calm down, Lola! Ok Harry is acting very strangely in general and more specifically towards you. I don't know why but I do know you haven't done anything to him, for god's

sake you fancy the pants off him why would you do anything to annoy him it doesn't make sense. Lola you are one of the most inoffensive people I know, the last thing you are

going to do is offend someone and not even know you have done it. Stop worrying he is just…. I don't know hormonal or whatever you girls say when you're in a mood!"

I smiled, Danny always had a way of making me feel better. I was beginning to calm down now. He was right, I had not seen Harry that much recently so surely I would know if I

had done something to upset him, and god knows guys can be very bloody hormonal when they want to be.

We finished up our hot chocolates and traipsed up the stairs to bed, as we reached the top I stumbled over the final step like I did every time I climbed those blasted stairs. You

would think after three years I would remember that the carpet sticks up on that stair. I followed Danny into his room and wandered around his room before going to bed.

"You ok now Lolly?" Danny muttered as we lay in bed. "yeah thanks Dan you're the best" I gave him a quick hug then snuggled under the covers and drifted off to sleep.

Wishing and hoping that everything would be ok in the morning.

I couldn't sleep at all I just lay there staring at the ceiling. I didn't know how to deal with these feelings. I had never encountered them before. After a while I heard Danny and Lola

creeping up the stairs to bed. They were trying to be quiet but were failing miserably as per usual. I felt myself smile as I heard Lola stumble on the top step like she did every time

she climbed those stairs. You would think after three years she would know that the carpet sticks up on that step. They pottered around Danny's room for a few minutes before I

heard the familiar sound of them getting into bed. Eventually after staring at the ceiling for a while more I drifted into a restless sleep, my mind still battling the night's events.


	8. Chapter 8

I awoke the next morning to Danny's light snores beside me. I gradually manoeuvred my way out of the bed not really wanting to leave the warmth of the duvet but my stomach was grumbling at me and needed to be filled.

As I entered the kitchen I could hear the distinct sound of various pots and pans being shuffled around and banged together. I hadn't been drunk the night before but the harsh sounds of pots and pans being struck together reverberated around my head like a loud alarm bell. I was greeted by Tom with a wok in one hand and a saucepan in the other. He was looking very confused. "Which one do I use to make scrambled eggs" he said urgently. "Are you serious? The saucepan of course" I said with a giggle." I'm trying to make Lyndsey breakfast before she gets up, but I have a slight problem in that I cannot cook so I haven't a bloomin clue what I am doing. Maybe ill just make her a cup of tea. Its not quite as romantic though is it?" he said in a frenzy. " Here ill help you, you go get the bacon and eggs out of the fridge, we will pretend you did it all she will be none the wiser." I giggled. We quickly got on with cooking Lyndsey her breakfast.

" So where did you come from missy? You weren't here when I went to bed" asked Tom. I quickly took the bacon off him and turned it down as he was about to burn it to a crisp. " Danny picked me up last night I was out with some of my friends from Uni. He wanted me to make him hot chocolate. Seriously, you boys are ruled by your stomachs its ridiculous." I said while trying to rescue the breakfast from Tom's unique cooking skills. " You mean he went out and picked you up at two in the morning just so he could see you …. Aaawwwww that's so cute! When is the engagement party?." Tom teased. Danny and I were used to it for the first six months of meeting us people tried to convince us that we were blind and that we were meant to be a couple. After six months they all seemed to realise that it wasn't going to happen. Tom knew damn well that Danny and I were not interested in each other but he always liked to stir the pot by teasing us. The breakfast was beginning to come together nicely when Lyndsey strolled into the kitchen. " what are you doing up? I was just going to bring you breakfast" Tom exclaimed. " 1. I heard you banging around. And 2. You're so sweet but crumbs in bed is never a good thing we can have it down here." Lyndsey said with a yawn and a smile. She gave Tom a quick kiss then sat down at the table awaiting her breakfast. " I thought I heard some noise coming from Danny's room last night when did you get here?" Lyndsey said with a smirk. She and Tom had been seeing each other for about four months so she was right in the middle of her six month stint of matchmaking me and Danny. We had become so accustomed to this questioning and speculation that we always liked to have a bit of fun with the newbies. All our friends had fallen victim to it at one stage or another. " oh no you heard us I thought we were very quiet." I said with a look of guilt on my face, trying my best to not laugh. Lyndsey's face was a picture, her mouth just dropped open and her eyes looked like they were being held open with matchsticks, they were so wide. Tom muffled his laughter with a cough, having seen this routine many times before and been a victim himself. "WHAT?? You mean you and Danny …. I Mean.. what? Oh my god this is incredible." she waffled on completely astonished with what she had just heard. "You mean you didn't hear us oh god I've just put my foot in it. Oh no" I said in a worried voice. " I don't believe it, this is amazing! Finally you have realised what I have been telling you for months." just as Lyndsey said this Danny padded into the kitchen still in a sleepy daze. Lyndsey ran at him and gave him a big congratulatory hug. It took all my will power to not burst out laughing at that moment. "Danny honey we have been found out." He glanced over at me and realised what was going on in an instant. " Ah well babe it was bound to come out sooner or later." he said while wrapping me up in a big hug and pecking me on the lips. He sat down at the table pouring himself a cup of tea, then pulled me down to sit on his knee resting his head on my shoulder. "Wow I'm such a good matchmaker I have succeeded where hundreds have failed before. I should do this as a career" Lyndsey said smugly, utterly thrilled with her own success. Tom burst out laughing but quickly disguised it with another coughing fit. " Oh Tom, you ok?" Lyndsey asked genuinely concerned. I didn't think I could keep it up much longer. Lyndsey's reaction had been one of the best yet. Once Tom had recovered from his "coughing fit," They joined us at the table with their breakfast. Lyndsey looked like all her Christmases had come at once she kept looking up from her breakfast and grinning at us.

I was just about to tell her that we were only joking when Harry walked into the kitchen. I suddenly felt a little nervous, I could tell from his demeanour that he didn't seem to be in better form than when I had seen him last night. He grabbed some orange juice out of the fridge not saying a word. Just as he was about to walk back out of the room he glanced over at the table and stopped, looking directly at me and Danny. " God Lola, what's up with you? John and Danny in the same night, you really are whoring yourself about at the moment aren't you?" he said as he began to walk out of the kitchen. I was about to laugh when I realised the tone of his voice. He wasn't joking. There was absolutely no sense of fun or mirth in his voice at all, it was cold and malicious. Everyone looked up from the table, I felt Danny's grip tighten around me. " What the hell mate? You know we are only messing around" said Danny in a stunned voice as the other two looked on in shock at Harry's actions. " yeah so you say anyway" Harry muttered snidely as he walked out of the room. I felt my face flush with mortification. I slowly got up off Danny's knee and busied myself in the kitchen. " Sorry Lyndsey we were only messing, we do it to everyone at some point. We did it to Harry and he has seen it happen about a million times he was just being an idiot." Danny explained. Lyndsey looked slightly crestfallen but also looked concerned she could see that I was really hur and embarassed. Tom still looked pretty stunned, all the lads knew mine and Danny's little routine to initiate new people, there was no way Harry didn't recognise it. " what's his problem Dan?" asked Tom quietly like he didn't want me to hear. " I don't know mate." Danny said as he moved towards me at the sink. " Are you ok Lolly?" he asked me quietly as I washed the dishes. I quickly dried my hands and turned around. " Yeah, I'm grand, I'm just going to go get dressed, I have to head home and do some study. Don't want my mum giving out to me again for not studying enough" I said with a fake smile as I quickly walked out of the kitchen and went up the stairs to Danny's room. I ran past Harry's room praying that he wouldn't come out.

As I gathered my things after getting dressed Danny walked into his room and sat down on the bed, beckoning me over to join him. I slumped down beside him looking at the ground. I didn't have to say a word, he knew I was upset, between Harry's coldness last night and his weird outburst in the kitchen I was so confused. Why was he so annoyed with me.

Ok seriously what the hell is wrong with me? I pretty much just called the girl I have fallen for a whore. After I left the kitchen I went straight up to my room to try and figure out in my own head where the hell that outburst had come from. My head was still messed up from the previous night but I had definitly calmed down, as I walked into the kitchen the mix of the look of astonishment on lyndsey's face and Lola sitting on Danny's knee with their arms wrapped around each other, I instantly recognised Danny and Lola's little intiation routine. I had witnessed it so many times, every time it got funnier, but as I turned around from the fridge I saw Danny kiss her lightly on the cheek and whisper something in her ear, while he had his hand resting on her waist slowly rubbing his thumb against her soft skin, they looked like a real couple, this set off the green eyed monster again. I suddenly felt annoyed and Lola was the recipient of my wrath. Why was I acting so ridiculously? and why was it Lola that it all seemed to be directed at? surely she is the last person I want to drive away. I felt horrible. I know Lola is feeling really hurt right now and the only person to blame is me. This has got to stop I either have to tell her how I feel in hope that she will either feel the same way ( can't see that one happening, people don't usually fall for people who call them whores!!) or at least by telling her how I feel I will be some how be able to explain to her why I have been acting so weird so at least then i might be able to salvage some kind of friendship with her.


	9. Chapter 9

"Harry what in the hell were you going on about earlier?" Danny shouted as he slammed open my door. I could tell he was furious with me. Danny rarely got really angry but when he did there were three telltale signs that showed that he was not to be messed with. The first was his flailing limbs. Whenever he was in a rage he didn't seem to know what to do with his arms so while he shouted at you his arms just flung themselves about at random, if he wasn't shouting abuse at you, it would be near on impossible to not burst into uncontrollable laughter at the sight of him - but when he is in a mood like this, laughing at him would be one of the most unwise decisions ever made.

The second signal to look out for was his flared nostrils. He always reminded me of a bull when he is in a bad mood. His nostrils for some reason seemed to double in size and expand at an ever increasing rate. You were nearly waiting for smoke to billow out. The third and most vital sign to acknowledge is Danny's lack of blinking. He stares at you, like he is searching through your mind for the reason you have wronged him.

"I dunno look I'm sorry alright there is no need to go on about it alright." I huffed at him. I hadn't moved from my place on the bed. I was avoiding eye contact with him. Danny had a way of getting the truth out of people and I wasn't in the mood for an emotional heart to heart. "Harry what the hell is up with you? You can't speak to people like that and you sure as hell can't speak to Lola like that. She is supposed to your friend, one of your best friends in fact and you treated her like shit" I knew what he was saying was nothing but the truth but this seemed to enrage me even further because I was so annoyed at myself. "Danny. You cannot tell me what I can or cannot do, so just get the hell out of my room." I said while jumping up from my bed and moving towards the door signalling for him to leave. He glared at me .He had no intention on leaving. He stood there and folded his arms. It was like the calm before the storm. I knew this argument wasn't even nearly over but we just stood there in silence glaring at each other. Neither one blinking nor looking away so as to not show any signs of weakness. "I am not telling you what to do Harry I am just telling you something you already know." he spoke calmly and steadily but his voice was full of venom. I don't think I had ever seen Dan this angry before. I knew he was protective of Lola but I had never witnessed his reaction when someone had hurt her. It wasn't a pleasant experience and it was eating me up inside that I was witnessing it first hand it was just emphasising in mind what an idiot I had been and how close I was to losing Lolly as a friend let alone as a girlfriend. "Fine, Danny I get it, alright. Look I know you're protective of Lola, just drop it." The second I had said it, I knew it was the wrong thing to say, Danny's eyes were like saucers. "Harry, this is not me being protective of Lola this is me telling you to cop the hell on and realise that you can't treat your friends like that I can't believe that I have to tell you, of all people this. Over the last few weeks you have been acting weirdly in general and especially towards Lola. The poor girl is worried sick that she has done something to annoy or hurt you and you don't even seem to care. You're turning into an absolute jerk Harry."

He was right in my face, so close that when he spoke little flecks of spit found themselves on my face. Once again I realised he was right but I didn't know how to explain myself without telling him that I had fallen for Lola. The only response I could muster was possibly the most pathetic response ever. I slapped him across the arm. Yes I know its not big, its not clever and it is most definitely not in any way manly. Danny looked at me for a second and then quickly responded by slapping me on the arm. As could be expected it quickly descended into a ridiculous fight where we slapped each other harder and harder and began rolling around on the floor.

Before it escalated to us actually hurting each other which I know neither of us really wanted to do, hence the pathetic slapping, Lyndsey walked in and pulled us apart. She stood in the middle of us holding both of us at arms length. Danny glared at me then stomped out of the house slamming the door behind him.

I fell back on my bed holding my head in my hands trying to figure out my life. "Harry what is wrong? I know I haven't known you that long but it is as clear as day, that there is something major bothering you" my thoughts were interrupted, I seemed to have completely forgotten that Lyndsey was in the room. I stared at her. I was debating in my head whether or not to blurt out everything or to follow my usual manner of dealing with things - bottle it all up until I can figure out a solution - slowly turning myself insane. She moved forward sitting directly across from me. Lyndsey was a relatively new member of our group of friends, she and Tom had been going out less than six months, but she had slotted into the group so well it was like she had always been there. "Sometimes its good to get an outsider's point of view, Haz, believe it or not, no one has the answers to everything." she said with a comforting smile.

"AAAAHHHHHH why is life so bloody annoying Lynds?" I moaned clutching my head in my hands again staring at the carpet - I really need to hoover!

"Right so I'm guessing it's a girl problem" she said authoritatively "right come on this is my area of expertise. I am destined to become a relationship counsellor slash matchmaker in later years so chances are I can help you" I lifted my head to look at her - I could practically see her putting her therapist hat on she so looked the part, I was nearly waiting for a leather couch to appear beside her so we could start our session.

"Ok …….. em………eh…. I dunno where to start…" I stuttered after a long silence. Suddenly a rush of uncertainty came over me. "Actually no it's grand - look I'm fine, just a bit moody. Thanks Lynds but I'm grand." I said hurriedly, I wasn't one for spilling my feelings, pretty much the only person that I divulged everything to was Lola.

"Not on your nelly Mr Judd, I'm sick of seeing you mope about, It's not good for you - I think I have an idea what the problem may be but you have to tell me so that we can deal with it properly so sit down and start spilling." I gawped at her and sat down again, to be honest I was kind of afraid not to. "right …eh… Ok … right eh well the problem is that I kind of have feelings for someone that I shouldn't and to put it mildly I'm not dealing with it very well." I said quickly, I was not enjoying this at all and I was feeling horribly uncomfortable. "oh my god you're in love with Danny" she said with a grin. "not funny Lyndsey" I said with a grimace.

"I'm sorry I was only messing, well I am guessing I am 100 percent right in thinking that you have fallen for Lola right ?" my head jerked up from the floor to look at her, I was a bit shocked. How did she know? I sat there gawping at her for a few minutes my mouth wide open catching flies. "Jesus, Haz from the look on your face you would swear I just figured out how to fly or something. Look you weren't that obvious but to the trained eye it was damn obvious you like her and before you ask unsurprisingly the lads especially Danny haven't got a clue and I'm pretty sure Lola doesn't either. Now, as brilliant as I am at dealing with relationships etc I have yet to see why this is such a major problem." she said matter of factly. "What do you mean you can't see the problem? I can't fall for Lola, for one there isn't a chance in hell that it's reciprocated and two, Danny will kill me, and don't think it will be a quick painless death, it will be a long torture filled slow death."

"don't be so stupid Harry, if he knew you would take care of her and not mess her about - which I don't think you would - I think he would actually be quite happy for you, and on the Lola front I don't know for sure but I reckon there is most definitely a chance in hell that she likes you too - remember Judd I am very good at this matchmaking thing, I can spot it a mile off." I pondered what she had said. I had built it up so much in my head as an impossibility that I guess I had never really considered it as a possibility. Oh god maybe I had ruined my chances already by acting like an idiot. " Lynds what am I going to do, she isn't even going to want to talk to me, I mean for god sake I pretty much called the poor girl a whore, how on earth is she ever going to be interested in me now." my head was so messed up at this stage, nothing was making sense. " calm down Harry its ok, what you need to do is talk to her and explain to her why you have been acting so…… lets say strangely for the last while and once you do that she will realise that you didn't mean it." she said kindly. I knew she was right. If I didn't tell her I think id slowly go insane I'm just going to have to grow a pair and tell her. Right now all I have to do is decide when, where and what the hell am I going to say.

* * *

After that day I avoided going to the house for a while, I figured there was less chance of running into Harry that way. Danny quickly figured out what I was doing when I point blank refused to call over even though he had offered to cook - I usually jump at the chance to laugh hysterically at his pathetic attempts at cooking. I'm pretty sure that Danny had a "stern" word with Harry . Lyndsey told me she had interrupted them rolling around on the floor having a pathetic slap fight. 

Lyndsey met me in town, we were in dire need of some girly chat - we spent far too much time listening to people talking about Xbox, page 3 girls and the latest way to burp the alphabet. We cosied up on one of the big couches in the corner of star bucks. "so missy tell me what you have been up to, you haven't been hanging around the house or with the lads much lately - your Uni friends more fun than the rest of us or something?" she said with a cheeky smile. "Hey you, stop with that nonsense, of course they're not as fun as you guys, I just …. I don't know… after the way Harry has been acting towards me lately I thought I would give him a wide berth. I don't know what I have done but I don't want to upset him anymore than I already appear to have done." I started to fiddle with my hands. Even talking about the situation with Harry made me nervous and on edge. I was really beginning to worry that I was losing my friend. " hey come on hun, don't worry so much look I think you really need to talk to him, staying away from him is just prolonging the problem and it will make it more awkward when you do eventually meet up." Lyndsey always was the voice of reason. There was a very wise head on her young shoulders. " I guess you're right, but you know me, I'm absolutely horrendously bad at anything that even resembles confrontation. I turn into a mute." I exclaimed nearly toppling my coffee all over the couch in frustration. "careful there you, these trousers are too nice to have creamy coffee stains all over them. Look I know stuff is weird with you and Harry at the moment but you have been friends for years it may be a bit awkward at first but it will be ok after a few minutes. I mean come on its you and Harry - you tell each other everything." she said with a comforting smile . I leant back on the couch and absorbed what she had said . The words "its you and Harry - you tell each other everything." were reverberating around my head. It would be a bit more accurate to say "we tell each other nearly everything. Instead of convincing Harry I was the girl of his dreams. I seemed to be driving him away. I sat there staring into space until my thoughts were interrupted by a hand waving in front of my face. "Lolly, earth to Lolly." I shook my head and refocused my attention on Lyndsey. "sorry, was in a world of my own" I muttered quietly. "Lolly what's wrong? You look like the troubles of the world are on your shoulders, you look like you need a good old rant, come on lay it on me." exclaimed Lyndsey. "nothings wrong , my mind is just very muddled up at the moment."

"about what? Is it boy trouble because the look on your face has boy trouble written all over it." " its not so much boy trouble I mean I don't know AAAHHH why is life so bloody annoying lynds?"

Lyndsey gave her a comforting smile while she felt a severe sense of déjà vu run through her. Lyndsey's suspicions about Lola's feelings for Harry looked like they were about to be confirmed.

"Ok ….. Eh …….right……. Ok well I've kind of been having feelings for someone that I shouldn't and I don't know what to do ?" I said hurriedly. Part of me wanted to tell Lyndsey everything but the other part of me wanted nothing more than for Lyndsey to have a bout of temporary deafness and for her to not have heard a thing I had said. "right so this person I am presuming is Harry, am I right ?" she said matter of factly. I was a bit shocked, I knew Lyndsey was really observant but I didn't think it would be that obvious. I just nodded at her in response I was preparing myself to listen to her give me a comforting speech about how silly Harry was for not liking me and that there were plenty more fish in the sea etc. my mouth nearly fell open when she began talking. "well what's so bad about that? I think you would make a nice couple" she said like she was talking about the weather. "what ? Well that would never happen because to Harry I'm just a friend, just one of the lads and at the moment I don't even know if I'm that." I ranted on only to interrupted by Lyndsey's giggling " look missus I wouldn't write yourself that quickly you have to tell him how you feel"

"Are you joking Lyndsey? He will run a mile and I least want to be friends with him." I was astonished that she would even realistically suggest it. " Well Lolly you are never going to know unless you talk to him."

"I guess you're right but that is very much easier said than done - what's that mischievous grin for?" I asked her. She seemed to have a naughty glint in her eye. " Oh …..Eh" she stuttered " well I've had this great idea for Tom's birthday, you know the way he doesn't make a big fuss out of his birthday and just says its another day well I was thinking we could make a big event out of it and throw him a big surprise party, he will never ever guess and I reckon he would secretly love to have a big fuss made over him. What do you reckon?" you could tell she had given this a lot of thought. " I think it's the best idea you have had in ages lets get to planning" we spent the rest of the day planning the party for the following weekend. It was fun organising it with Lyndsey but it was more helpful in that it temporarily kept my mind off Harry and the fact that I knew deep down that I had to follow Lyndsey's advice and talk to him or else I ran the risk of losing one of my best friends.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for the reviews !! they really are encouraging ! hope you like this chapter and I hope it isnt confusing !**

"Doug and ruby. If you mess up that TV room one more damn time I swear to god I will not be held responsible for my actions" I screeched loudly as I walked into the TV room to find Ruby and Doug messing about, knocking over things and disrupting my nicely placed cushions as they did so. Tonight was the night of Tom's party and I was trying to keep the place looking nice for when the actual guests arrived. I hadn't even had time to get dressed yet. As I watched the gruesome twosome make their way sheepishly into the kitchen I quickly took my chance and ran upstairs to throw myself together. As I was putting my make up on I began to think about the night ahead. It was going to the first time in a while that I was going to be in the same place as Harry for any kind of significant amount of time. I was excited because I missed him but I was also very nervous and apprehensive as the last time I had seen him he seemed to be pretty furious at me and I didn't know why. I was hoping to talk to him tonight but that depended on me having the guts to actually go through with it.

Lyndsey had brought Tom out for dinner but the boys were going to pick him up early telling him that their manager had scheduled some kind of urgent meeting back at the house.

"He's not answering his damn phone" Danny yelped at me across the room. "just keep trying and if that doesn't work ring lyndsey's phone and ask for Tom she will know to answer considering she thought up this whole hair brained scheme" I was getting very flustered, for some reason people seemed to think I was the leader of this little operation so they ran all ideas past me and most of the time I didn't have a bloody clue how to answer them.

"Tom! Finally why the hell wouldn't you answer your phone? The managers have called some kind of urgent meeting they are on their way over to the house now. Harry is going to pick you up on the way back from his mum's" I could hear Tom protesting on the other end of the phone. To say he was annoyed would be a huge understatement. He finally relented and agreed to be waiting outside the restaurant.

There was a flurry of activity as people started looking for places to hide and stand so that it didn't look to Tom from the outside that there was a ton of people waiting in the living room, to scare the living daylights out of him when he came in. After a few minutes the crowd had calmed down and the room was ready for his arrival, as if on cue we saw the headlights of Harry's car glare against the shut curtains. A few seconds later the car doors opened and we could hear the three occupants muttering "for god's sake they aren't even here yet, I can't believe they have called a bloody meeting at nine o clock at night on MY BIRTHDAY there is no bloody justice in the world I was just about to have dinner, I'm bloody starving" there were a few muffled giggles in amongst the partygoers as they listened to Tom go on and on about all the injustices being thrust upon him. A few seconds later we could hear the scratch of the key in the door, I could feel everyone's anticipation and there was a collective intake of air as they waited for the door to swing open. I grinned at Danny he had such a goofy smile on his face, you would swear Santa Claus himself was about to walk through the door.

"SURPRISE!!!!" Tom literally jumped a foot of the floor he got such a fright as he walked in the door. He looked so confused for a few moments before the lads engulfed him in a group hug. After he was released, he had the biggest smile on his face; I thought I saw his eyes become a little watery as he took in the sight before him. "Did you know about this Lyndsey?" He said quickly. "Course she knew about it dummy it was all her idea!" Exclaimed Dougie, like it was the stupidest question ever asked. Tom grabbed her into a hug and kissed her with such love and affection, Ruby and I couldn't help but let out a collective "AWWW"

"Stop that you two" Tom said sheepishly after he had released her from their embrace. "Happy birthday" I said while giving him a big hug, ignoring his previous comment. "Right come on everybody lets party" Lyndsey said and pulled us all towards the make shift bar that had been set up in the kitchen.

As I entered the party behind Tom even amongst all the commotion I immediately spotted Lola at the front of the crowd standing beside Danny. She looked so amazing, she was all dressed for the night but she had the most beautiful smile. It lit up her whole face and her eyes were gleaming like only hers could. Tonight was the night I was going to talk to her. My stomach was in knots I was so nervous. I was also a little excited to spend time with her again. I really missed our chats - I just hoped that after tonight we would still be on good enough terms to be able to have our little chats. I headed towards the bar with everyone else I was definitely going to need a bit of Dutch courage.

The house was heaving. There seemed to be crowds of people everywhere I went, luckily it was a warm summer night so people could happily spill out into the garden. After spending what seemed like hours trying to teach Dougie how to dance without accidentally knocking people out with his flailing arms, I left him in the capable hands of ruby, who seemed more than happy to accommodate him. I was beginning to think those two could end up being more than friends.

I wandered into the kitchen to get myself a drink only to be greeted by a very drunk Tom and Danny who were attempting to make cocktails because apparently everyone was far too sober. Those two were so far away from sober that they wouldn't know what it was if it came up and smacked them in the face. I decided to leave them to it and I promptly left the kitchen with the concoction that had been thrust in my hand, and made my way out to the garden. The cool breeze lightly hit my face as I exited the house and travelled down the garden path towards the benches at the back of the garden. I lay down on the bench and gazed up at the stars. I had planned to have a chat with Harry tonight but I hadn't really seen him through the throngs of people. I felt slightly light headed; it was a mix of the heat of the party and the various vodka drinks I had consumed throughout the night. It was a perfect summer night. The stars were twinkling in the night sky; the light breeze was causing the trees to create a low rustling noise. As I lay there the noise of the nearby party seemed to fade away into the distance as I became lost in the wonders of the night sky. I felt myself shiver slightly as a stronger breeze ran through the garden.

"Here take my jumper, you look cold" I jumped slightly as I heard a voice above me. I turned my head to the side to be greeted by Harry's comforting features. I quickly sat up from the bench. "Eh yeah thanks I am a bit chilly alright" I was taken aback slightly by his gesture, this wasn't in line with his recent attitude towards me. There was an awkward silence as I placed the jumper over my head. I was wracking my brain for something to say that wouldn't sound completely stupid.

"So I haven't seen you around much recently" he turned to look at me, our eyes met, it was a really uncomfortable situation yet I felt comfortable sitting beside him. I didn't want to be anywhere else in that moment. "Well…. Stuff has been kind of strained between us of late, I wanted to give you your space……..look Harry I'm really sorry for upsetting you." I blurted out in a hurry.

"Lolly you have nothing to say sorry for. I'm surprised you are even talking to me I have been such a jerk to you these last few weeks I can't apologise enough to you Lola" he said quickly. There was a sense of urgency and regret to his voice. He seemed as nervous as I was about this whole conversation. My head was spinning, if I hadn't done anything why had he been acting so strangely?

"Harry are you sure I didn't do something to annoy you, as it's really not like you to fly off the handle like that for no reason." I looked at him questioningly. "I didn't fly off the handle for no reason but it wasn't because you did something Lolly, I promise you, you did nothing I was just being a ridiculously immature jerk and I'm so sorry." I turned my body and sat cross legged on the bench facing him. I was relieved that I hadn't done something to upset him but I was majorly confused. He was looking at me, searching my face for some kind of response. "Ok well then what's wrong? I know you're like me and bottle everything up inside. The only reason I can see you acting so out of character is if you bottled something up so much it just exploded out in some kind of blaze of madness." He turned to face me, mirroring my stance. "You know me far too well Lolly" he said with a quick smile which quickly faded from his face, he looked down at his hands where he was cradling a half empty bottle of beer. I was becoming more concerned as the conversation went on. "What is it? You know I won't tell a soul, look I don't want to force you to tell me something but you should talk to someone about it Haz, it seems to be eating you up inside." He just sat there gazing at his hands. I thought I was an emotional wreck trying to deal with my feelings for Harry; he seemed to be just as bad.

I wandered out of the house; I had searched the whole party looking for Lola. As I entered the garden, I saw a figure lying down on the bench at the base of the garden. I immediately knew who it was. As I approached the bench her face glistened in the light of the moon. A breeze blew through the garden disrupting all the trees. She shivered; I could see the goosebumps forming on her skin. "Here take my jumper, you look cold" my voice sounded confident but my stomach was awash with nerves. She jumped up quickly from her position and I sat down beside her as she pulled my jumper over her head. "So I haven't seen you around much recently." I wasn't really sure how to start up the conversation, but I figured that was as good a place as any. I listened to her as she hurriedly apologised even though she had done nothing wrong. My heart sank as I watched her face fill with worry and apprehension. I knew I had hurt her over the last few weeks but watching her try and make sense of my behaviour and blaming herself was horrible to experience. " Lolly you have nothing to say sorry for, I'm surprised you are even talking to me, I have been such a jerk to you over the last few weeks I can't apologise enough Lola" I was getting more and more nervous by the second as it felt like the inevitable was about to happen. In the next few minutes I could run the risk of losing one of my best friends. The question I was expecting soon followed. She knew I wouldn't go mad fro no reason. What answer was I supposed to give her? "I didn't fly off the handle for no reason but it wasn't because you did something Lolly. I promise you, you did nothing wrong. I was just being a ridiculously immature jerk and I'm really sorry." Lola knew me so well. Lola and the three lads were the four people in the world who knew me best and they were the four people who pretty much always knew when there was something wrong with me. Lola wanted to know what was wrong. What was I supposed to tell her? I sat opposite her looking at her in the face battling with myself whether to tell her or not. Could any good come from me telling her?

We sat in silence for a few minutes just looking at each other. I didn't want to push him into discussing something he didn't want to discuss but I wanted to help him. As I sat there looking into his eyes I wanted to do everything in my power to make him feel better, after his recent behaviour I should probably be annoyed with him, but I knew that Harry didn't mean to hurt me. Whenever Harry was completely confused about something he lashed out and to be honest I'm surprised I didn't recognise the signs. I probably had some kind of guilty conscience because I knew I was harbouring feelings for him that he didn't know about.

Harry still hadn't said a word I could see him battling with himself in his head. Before I had time to think anything more I launched myself at him and grabbed him into a big hug, within seconds his arms were around me pulling me towards him to sit in his lap. I could feel his warm breath blowing against my ear, tickling me every so slightly. After a few minutes I went to pull away but he held me even closer as he felt me move, lightly rubbing his hand on my back. I leant my head on his shoulder and just enjoyed being close to him again. Although my heart still quickened when I was near him and his touch sent the butterflies in my stomach into a flurry at this moment in time I was completely contented just being involved in a friendly hug.

As I contemplated my answer, we sat there just looking at each other, after a few minutes I still hadn't said anything, I thought she was going to start questioning me again but before I knew what was going on she had pulled me into a warm hug. I immediately responded and wrapped my arms around her body, pulling her in to sit on my lap, resting my head on her shoulder. I had a sudden urge to start kissing her neck, it felt like the natural thing to do but then I quickly remembered that Lola , as much as I wanted her to be, wasn't my girlfriend. I felt her move to pull away but I couldn't bear to be separated from her yet so held her close to me and rubbed my hand on her back. She rested her head on my shoulder and we just stayed there clutching onto each other, our breathing synchronized.

We sat there for ages holding each other, eventually we pulled away but we were still close and I stayed resting in his lap his arms rested around me supporting my stance. "Ooh come here!" I said while standing up and pulled him up by the hand leading him over to the grass. "What you doing lolly?" he asked confused. "Just follow my lead its cool" I lay down on the grass and looked up at the sky. He followed my lead and lay down beside me. "Now, tell me that isn't cool. I love the sky during the summer the stars seem to twinkle with extra vigour or something." I rambled on.

After a while we pulled away and she led me over to the grass and we lay down to gaze up at the sky. She was right the night sky during the summer really was something to admire. As I moved my arms down by my side, my hand brushed against hers. At this stage my body was craving her touch so much I didn't care if she became suspicious. I interlocked my fingers with hers and brushed my thumb against the back of her hand, each stroke sent shivers up my spine. I turned to look at her tearing my eyes from the night sky. She was basking in the moonlight, her eyes transfixed on the night sky. After a few minutes she turned to face me. "What you thinking" I asked.

As we lay there I stared at the sky, a few moments passed and I felt Harry move, he clasped my hand in his and brushed his thumb against my hand. It took all my will power to not turn and kiss him right there and then, but I didn't know how long I would be able to continue this control. After a while I felt him looking at me and turned to meet his gaze. "What you thinking?" he asked. If I was to be honest my answer would be that I was thinking about kissing him A LOT but the decision was whether to be honest or not. "Nothing much really just taking in the view" I said with a giggle. Another breeze blew through the garden and I shivered, Harry quickly pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm. I looked up at his face, we nearly nose to nose, our breaths mingling in front of our faces. We stared into each others eyes. I suddenly felt incredibly nervous; we were so close together it was hard to tell our bodies apart. It felt like Harry was holding me as close as he possibly could. I felt electricity run through my body. The moment was intense. It began to dawn on me that maybe the moment was so intense because I wasn't the only one who could feel rushes of electricity running through them.

She was so close to me now my stomach was in knots. We lay there looking into each others eyes. For the first time I felt like she may be feeling the same rushes of electricity run through her body. There was a veil of tension surrounding us.Our faces only inches apart.


	11. Chapter 11

The tension was palpable. We had only been lying like that for a matter of minutes but it felt like hours. He was searching my face, gazing into my eyes, not breaking eye contact, I kind of felt like he was searching my face for some form of recognition of the situation we had found ourselves in, I didn't know what to do.

We lay there, I was searching her face for some kind of sign that would give me permission to kiss her, I didn't want to make a fool of myself but if I didn't get a signal one way or the other soon I didn't know what I was going to do.

I decided this was it, for once I was not going to miss an opportunity, something in my gut was telling me that in this moment Harry wanted me to. I looked straight into his eyes which were only inches away from mine. My breathing was uneven, my stomach was in knots and my heart was pounding, I very slowly began moving my lips towards his, while looking for any signs of hesitation. He began to follow suit and painfully slowly angled his face towards mine.

"LOLA!!! Where are you? We need you right now." Suddenly the noise of the party which seemed to have been muted before came back at full volume. Our lips were only millimetres apart. "LOLA where the hell are you?" I felt like ignoring whoever was calling but they kept persisting. Harry seemingly reluctantly released me from his grip and without a word I got up from our position on the grass and stood up.

"There you are Lola. Why didn't you answer my calls? We need you inside Danny is getting sick he is so drunk and you know you are the only person that he will listen to when he is in this state." said Lyndsey as she moved down the garden. I glanced down at Harry he had resumed his position of looking at his hands and didn't look up at me. I walked towards the house in a bit of a daze. Had I imagined the last few minutes? Was Harry just about to kiss me? I manoeuvred my way into the house to find Danny, paying no attention to anyone else around me. I was completely lost in my own thoughts.

Just as I felt her begin to move her lips towards mine in a painfully slow manner, we were interrupted by the shouts of Lyndsey looking for Lola. There was a split second where we looked at each other and I could see her trying to decide whether to answer Lyndsey or not, but the moment had already been ruined. The veil of tension that had surrounded us had been permeated by the noise of the party. As she got up from her position and Lyndsey noticed her, my heart ached. I had been so close yet so far. She moved away and up the garden towards the house I was left to my own thought. When suddenly the painfully obvious hit me right in the face. She was about to kiss me. She moved her head towards me, not the other way around. Maybe just maybe Lola could possibly see me in that light. A sudden bubble of excitement and hope rose in my chest.

"Danny look at the state of you!" I said giggling. I found Danny at the front of the house getting sick into a flower pot where he was joined by an equally hilarious looking tom. Although the two of them were in a horrendously drunk state and relieving themselves of the lining of their stomachs, the two were in very high spirits. They nearly seemed happy to be getting sick, high fiving each other after each burst of nausea that was released from their pickled bodies. "See what I mean, these two are in a state and wont listen to anyone!……………….. Those flowers are never going to bloom again." muttered lyndsey. I burst out laughing. Lyndsey some times had a habit of sounding like an eighty year old woman; she came out with the most random observations. Both boys seemed to have somewhat recovered from their bouts of sickness but were now looking frightfully drowsy and there is no way they could be allowed to sleep on the porch of their house. For one that was just stupid, although it was summer they would still freeze and secondly knowing their luck, paparazzi would happen to turn up tomorrow morning and would think all their Christmases had come at once. "Right Lynds how are we going to do this, they can't stay here but if we don't move them soon they will be impossible to budge." I couldn't help but giggle as we tried to manoeuvre them up from the ground. They did try to help us but the alcohol had made their legs like jelly so if they managed to find some balance on one leg the other seemed to give way. Numerous times we found all four of us lying in a giggling heap, as they had dragged us down with them. Eventually we some how managed to get them into a standing position. Both Tom and Danny were leaning heavily on Lyndsey and me respectively. Luckily for Lyndsey she only had to find her way up one set of stairs with Tom before she could rid herself of her heavy load I had to battle my way up two steep sets of stairs. I could see Danny dozing off every few minutes on my shoulder, and I would have to keep shaking him awake so that he could lift his feet heavily up the stairs. Eventually we reached his room and I dumped him on the bed. I sat down to regain my composure. He didn't look it but mother of god was that guy heavy. It was a matter of seconds before I heard Danny's breathing slow and for low snores to begin to reverberate around the room. I lay back on the bed and looked up at the stars on his ceiling. They were nothing in comparison but the stars immediately brought me back to events earlier in the night. Why the hell did Lyndsey have to come looking for me at that moment, if it had been just a minute later who knows what could have happened. I didn't know what to do now. What was I going to do when I saw Harry again which would most likely be in the very near future. What if I got the complete wrong idea and he wasn't about to kiss me and I was just making a fool of myself, but then the little piece of information that was constantly at the forefront of my mind, he leaned in to.

I got up from my place on the bed, emptied the bucket of cleaning supplies from Danny's bathroom and placed the empty vessel beside his bed just in case his stomach wasn't empty yet. I pulled the duvet up over him and left the room just in time to see him begin to suck his thumb like a baby. As I walked down the stairs I heard giggling coming from Dougie's room, my immediate thought was that Ruby probably wouldn't be too happy with that, judging on her behaviour from earlier in the night, but that thought was quickly replaced by shock as I heard another familiar giggle infiltrate the air. My mouth dropped open, I had heard that laugh so many times, and that was most definitely the familiar laugh of a Miss Ruby Madden. I couldn't help but laugh as I proceeded down the stairs towards the remnants of the party.

There were still plenty of people mulling about the place, the volume of the party had been lowered though, probably a wise idea considering it was bordering on three o clock in the morning. I was just about to walk towards the kitchen when I felt a hand clasp around my own and pull me into the utility room beside the kitchen. The room was small and dark. The door quickly closed. The figure was close to me, still holding my hand. As I became accustomed to my surroundings a familiar scent surrounded me. I looked up into those piercing blue eyes that I had dreamt about so much. Our faces had returned to their earlier positions. His eyes were penetrating my soul. The room seemingly immediately filled to the brim with the familiar tension. It had been a matter of moments since the door had shut but it felt like hours, days, weeks even. He released my hand and moved his hand to my face brushing the stray hairs from across my eyes. He slowly moved his face the small distance between us. He paused just in front of lips like he was awaiting permission but he wasn't going to have to wait to get it. I filled the gap and placed my lips on his; he immediately responded and began to massage mine slowly. It was a slow and sensual kiss. His warm supple lips sent tingles through my body, I didn't think it was possible but I actually felt my knees give way but he wrapped his arm around me and supported me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as the kiss became more passionate. I was in sensory overload; the feel of his lips on mine was like electricity pumping through my body which was only strengthened by the feel of his strong arms around me and the touch of his skin underneath my fingers as I brushed my hands through the hair at the back of his neck. I never wanted it to end.

After sitting in the garden for while trying to make sense of all the thoughts that were bouncing around in my head, I made my way into the house. As I walked over the threshold of the house I was greeted by the familiar sight of drunken party revellers. I wandered around for a while taking in the sights yet still somewhat lost in my own thoughts. I was brought back to earth with a bump when I walked past the utility room beside the kitchen. The door was ajar and to my shock the room's occupants were encased in an extremely passionate embrace. At first I paid little attention, that kind of thing happens at parties, but I took a second glance when I heard an evil giggle that I knew very well. RUBY AND DOUGIE when the hell did that happen. My mouth literally dropped open and my eyes were out on sticks. As the door began to open further I ducked out of view and watched them as they proceeded up the stairs. I was in shock but couldn't help laughing. They were well matched and I did always suspect them I just never thought either would go through with it. I stood there for a few minutes chuckling at my new found discovery, and then I began to feel a little jealous. Why couldn't that be me and Lola, why did everything have to be so complicated? Why couldn't we be carefree like those two? As I stared into space pondering these thoughts I became aware of a person slowly coming down the stairs. I immediately recognised those legs, I ducked into the utility room I quickly tried to figure out what to do, I could be spontaneous and just grab her and kiss her or I could just wait for nature to take its course. Before I even considered the second option I could hear her approaching and I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the dark room. As I closed the door it was like I had transported us back to earlier in the night the tension was immediate. I moved towards her still holding her hand, I was staring straight into her eyes. Some stray pieces of hair had fallen in front of her face ever so slightly blocking my view of those gleaming blue eyes, I released her hand and brushed the hairs away so there was no way she could hide from view. I couldn't help it any longer I slowly moved my lips towards hers, I paused just before they met, I wanted some clear sign that she wanted this. I didn't have to wait for it; she pushed her lips against mine. Those beautifully full lips gently yet forcefully pressing against my own sent me into overdrive. I wrapped my arms around her supporting her back she reciprocated and wrapped her arms around my neck as the kiss became more passionate. I felt like I was in nirvana. The only thing that mattered in the world was what was going on in this dark little room. I had never felt so alive, every touch of her skin against mine, every flick of her tongue with my own, the feel of her massaging lips, they all sent me into a feeling of utter joy, lust, love and contentment.

Eventually we needed to release each other to catch our breath, the kiss found some kind of natural end and we moved our heads back ever so slightly to catch our breaths. Neither of us spoke we just gazed into each others eyes, both silently communicating the fact that we had wanted that to happen for quite some time. We were both still breathing heavily but we kept capturing each others lips in light little kisses so as to not lose the feeling of each others lips on our own. Our bodies were so close it was difficult to tell them apart. We were leaning against the door; I rested my head against it while trying to capture my breath. One hand moved from my waist up to my face as he loosely brushed his fingers against my cheek, I lightly closed my eyes savouring his touch. We still hadn't spoken but there was no awkward silence just a mutual understanding. After a few minutes of gazing at each other and light sensual kisses, I could see Harry gearing up to speak

After a while we released each other from our embrace so as to recapture our breath. I only moved my face a couple of inches away from hers I couldn't bare to be any further away. Her face was flushed and her lips swollen, I could imagine that my face was mirroring hers. Every few seconds I would place a quick soft kiss on her lips just to reinforce the memory of the feeling of her lips on mine, I never wanted to forget that sensation. I brushed my fingers against her cheek; her skin was warm underneath my touch. I wanted to say something but I couldn't think of the right words to describe what had just happened, I don't think there were words descriptive enough to give what I was feeling justice. "You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that for." I eventually murmured.

"Me too" were the only words I could muster up in reply as I pulled him down into another kiss.


	12. Chapter 12

**_sorry for the delay in updating im swamped with exams at the moment. sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes im a bit rushed. thanks for all the reviews. you're all great and keep them coming. hope you like it so far and this chapter is up to scratch. as i said i was rushing a bit so hopefully it isn't terrible !! thanks again and enjoy_**.

I slowly awoke from my deep sleep. I found myself on the cold floor of the utility room wrapped in a towel to keep me warm. I was alone. Harry and I had spent the rest of the night well early morning in the utility, too wrapped up in each other to bother going anywhere more comfortable. Eventually we must have dozed off on the floor. It was still relatively early, I could tell by the light of the early morning sun, and by the way the birds were chirping in the trees outside. I sat there for a while replaying the night in my head. Every time I thought of that first mind blowing kiss. I felt tingles run throughout my body. As much as I was enjoying reminiscing over the previous night's events, one glaring point resurface in my head. Where was Harry now?

As much as I didn't want to be paranoid and panic and think of all the negative possibilities I couldn't help but wonder. Did he regret it?

I heard people talking in the kitchen, so I decided to not sit in a pit of paranoia and go and join them.

As I walked into the kitchen I was cheerfully greeted by Lyndsey and grunted at by Tom and Danny. Neither boy managed to raise their heads from the table. "I was just filling the boys in on their antics last night Lola, they don't seem to remember much, isn't that surprising?" jeered Lyndsey sarcastically. I sat down at the table and laughed at their sorry states. "ah but Lynds you didn't have the joy of putting Danny to bed, after I finally dragged him up the second set of stairs and plonked him on the bed, not only did he not manage to get undressed, he fell asleep straight away and started sucking his thumb like a little baby" I said while pinching his cheeks. To say the least the least Dan was unimpressed. "I did not Lola, now I know you are making up stuff." he said gruffly. "HA HA HA I swear on my favourite pair of shoes that I am saying nothing but the truth." they knew that if ever swore on shoes that I was being honest. My shoes were like the children I didn't have I treasured every pair. "Oh god I'm never drinking again." moaned Danny. The three of us burst out laughing. "Yeah and I'm going to learn to fly" said Lyndsey. Tom suddenly jumped up from the table and made a run for the bathroom, the laughter obviously hadn't aided his recovery.

Lyndsey and I happily ate breakfast and laughed at the boys while reminiscing over the night's events. I still hadn't seen Harry, I presumed he had gone asleep somewhere a bit more comfortable or gone for a walk or something.

"Where did you go after you put Danny to bed, I went up to find you and you weren't there?" asked Lyndsey innocently. What was I to say? Its not that I didn't want to tell her I just didn't feel like making a big announcement to everyone plus Danny would kill me if I didn't talk to him first. Lyndsey was looking for me questioningly.

"Morning everybody" Dougie greeted the room while stretching as he walked in the door. Everyone turned their attention to Doug but I could tell this wasn't the last I would hear of it from, Lyndsey anyway. "So everyone have a good night last night?" asked Doug as he joined us at the table. There was a chorus of yeahs and a couple of nods from the invalids. "How about you Doug?" asked Lyndsey innocently again. God that girl must have a sixth sense to smell out as when she said this I suddenly remembered my discovery from the previous night. I looked at him with a mischievous grin, eagerly awaiting his reply. Would he fill the rest of them on the new revelations? "Yeah it was a good night. A very interesting night but also a very good one" he said cryptically will a huge grin on his face.

"Well I'm going up to grab a shower I said cheerfully as I left the kitchen. I had no intention if heading straight to the bathroom I would most definitely be making a pit stop at chez Doug to find out all the gossip from Ruby. I eagerly climbed the stairs two at a time.

I woke early, I had probably only been asleep for two or three hours. My back was killing me and I was cold from sitting on a hard floor, yet I felt oddly comfortable as I had Lola in my arms lying gently on my chest. Last night had been pretty amazing but my head was a flurry of activity and I couldn't really make head nor tail of anything. I had enjoyed every minute of last night with Lola but I was still unsure if it was a good idea for me and Lola to be together. We were running a major risk if we got together, I mean as much as I had fallen for her, I valued Lola so much as a friend that I wasn't sure if I wanted to in any way potentially jeopardize that. I ever so slowly lifted Lola from upon me and laid her down on the floor. I grabbed one of the clean towels from the shelf and put it over her in an attempt to keep her warm on that cold floor. I slipped out of the door and walked down the quiet road. There weren't many people around as it was still early. I chuckled to myself as I saw a couple stumbling and giggling down the road, still dressed in the previous night's attire. They looked so carefree.

After a while I found myself in the park and sat down on one of the benches that surrounded the pond. I felt like I was trying to convince myself that I should take a step back and give friendship another shot, but every time I thought I had myself convinced memories of the previous nights activities kept flooding back into the forefront of my mind. We had spent the night enwrapped in each other. Every time one of us began to try and start a conversation the other would interrupt with a kiss.

I brushed my fingers along my lips as I remembered the tingles that her lips against mine sent shooting through my lips and right through the rest of my body. I had never felt such a strong connection with someone just by kissing them. It excited me yet terrified me at the same time. What if I messed it up, what if I went back to my old ways and drunkenly hooked up with some bimbo, I know I would never intentionally do it to Lola but sometimes guys, namely me, do really stupid things when they are drunk. There was also the underlying Danny factor. I wasn't exactly sure how he would react, on hearing about recent events let alone if we were to get together properly, but as much as I wouldn't enjoy it was something I greatly respected about my best mate he always looked out for friends and family. I'm sure at the very best I would get a very stern talking to.

I slowly pushed the door open. Ruby was still curled up under the duvet asleep. I crept into the room and then launched myself onto the bed and jumped on top of her. "Ruby wakey, wakey rise and shine."

"Lola leave me alone I'm asleep" snarled ruby. "Now Miss Ruby if you think I am going to leave you to sleep when you could be filling me in on your gossip filled antics last night you have another thing coming."

Her eyes jerked open and she took in her surroundings and looked at me. "What you talking about I just fell asleep in here." she said attempting to lie but failing miserably. When she saw I wasn't budging she gave in. "ok, ok you know I'm crap at lying what do you want to know" she said with a mischievous grin. She sat up and then realising she was only clad in her underwear she pulled a t-shirt out of somewhere and placed it over her head. "I want to know EVERYTHING"

"Ok well after you left us dancing. I don't exactly how it happened but there seemed to suddenly be this tension between us, and when we were dancing it felt like it was just the two of us in the room. He kept staring into my eyes and without wanting to sound ridiculously cheesy and pathetic it felt like he was gazing into my soul or something he wasn't just looking at my face. I know I've never admitted it Lolly but both you and I know that I've fancied the pants of him for bloody ages" I burst out laughing at her bluntness but I quickly stopped so that she would continue her story.

"Well anyway I wasn't sure if it was just me creating this tension in my head or if he could feel it to, after a while I couldn't handle it anymore and so I said I was going to go get a drink. On the way to the kitchen he pulled me into the utility room and just kissed me and before you say it I thought the same what a random place to bring someone to kiss them, hardly the most romantic setting but mother of god it was electric, seriously Lolly it was the most amazing kiss I have ever experienced.

I let Ruby ramble on as I inwardly giggled, what was it with these boys and their utility room. There were so many aspects of her story that were similar to my own. It was nice to know I wasn't some kind over exaggerating weirdo. Who was to know the extent of incredible romanticism that could occur in a utility room?

"well anyway after a while we decided to move somewhere a bit more comfy and as a lady never kisses and tells even though I kind of already have lets just say we had a fun night." there was that mischievous grin again. "How did you know anyway?" she said confused. "Well I had to put Danny to bed last night and as I was coming back downstairs I heard some very familiar giggling coming from this room."

"Well I said we had fun." she said defensively just as I heard the shower turn on. "Ah no I was just about to go for a shower….. Ah well so what's the story with you two now" I asked tentatively. Ruby's smile faltered slightly they obviously hadn't had "the talk" yet. "I don't know Lolly but I really really like him. She began to fiddle with her hands as she nervously pondered the possible outcomes. " come on Ruby I don't know for sure but I wouldn't be surprised if he feels the same, I've always been suspicious of you two and he is walking around downstairs with the biggest grin on his face" I said while giving her a comforting hug. "You think?" she asked nervously "I wouldn't say it if I didn't"

"So how was your night Lolly?" she asked. Again I didn't really know how to answer that question. I didn't want to lie to her but I needed to confirm some stuff in my head first before I got a chance to answer we were interrupted.

"So Ruby my little sex kitten are you awake and ready for some Dougie loving?" said Dougie as he strolled into the room not noticing my presence. "Oh….eh…..Jesus…..eh hi Lola I thought you were in the shower" me and Ruby burst out laughing as Dougie's face flushed bright red. "Well Ruby I better leave you to it." I said while leaving the room giggling I had never seen Dougie look so embarrassed in all the time I had known him. As the shower was occupied with god only knows who I wandered up to Danny's room as all my stuff was up there. I was greeted by Danny splayed out on his bed clutching his head.

"Come on it can't be that bad" I teased. "Believe me it is. Why did you let me drink so much?" I snorted with laughter at this last comment and as punishment I lay on top of his back and started tickling his sides. "Lola I swear to god, I may be defenceless and helpless now but the second I regain an ounce of strength, I will pay you back tenfold if you continue" he said in a serious tone. I stopped fearing for my health if I didn't. I continued to lay flat on his back, our breathing synchronized, it was surprisingly comfortable. "So where did you sleep last night Lolly? I know it wasn't in here for one your crap isn't all over the place and secondly if you had you would have complained about my snoring at least ten times by now." I rolled off his back on to the bed and he turned to face me. I knew he could tell from the look on my face that it wasn't a straight forward answer. "I slept downstairs" I said quickly and buried my head into the pillow. "Eh yeah I believe that one I swear on spill." he muttered sceptically. I turned to look at him and I couldn't help but smile, before I could even open my mouth his eyes widened. "No way, you didn't ….. Oh my god when did that happen?" he would never admit it but Danny was a gossip fiend.

I giggled at him. I hadn't even said anything and he already seemed to know what had gone on. "Well ok to make a long story short, me and Harry kissed….. A lot and fell asleep on the utility room floor."

"The utility room? You bunch of weirdos" he said laughing. "Believe it or not apparently it's the new romantic hot spot. Me and Harry aren't the only weirdos in this house." now I had really confused. This would have been confusing at the best times but with a hangover no-one would have made sense of it. "Ok ill put it this way. Dougie had a very big grin on his face in the kitchen this morning didn't he?" I said somewhat cryptically. His eyes shot open as wide as they could go. "No way! Dougs and Ruby?" he exclaimed.

"Yeah hilarious isn't it. Keep it to yourself though no-one else knows. I don't think so anyway." I said hurriedly.

" wait so that means I was the only one who didn't get any loving last night, that's a bit depressing" Danny frowned. It didn't seem to matter that he always got the girl on every other night out. "Ah come on don't be grumpy you could have, if you weren't making sure the birthday boy would never remember the night but would know for sure it was the best night ever." I reasoned with him. God some times I felt like his mother. "Of course you're right that's the only logical reason." He said cheekily. Danny's little arrogant streak shining through. His frown returned momentarily when he realised I was laughing at him. "Come here you enough of that laughing" he said while tickling me.

"So what's the story with you and Harry? Or should I ask" the smile quickly left my face. How did I answer that? "Eh … I don't know to be honest he wasn't there when I woke up." I said quietly I wanted to be honest with Dan but I knew he would get angry and overprotective of me even if he had done much worse himself to numerous other girls.

"What do you mean he wasn't there, I swear to god if he has used you I'm going to kill him." he said angrily then clutched his head remembering that he was still severely hungover. "Look Dan I don't know what happened or what the story is but you aren't to get all flustered and overprotective he could have a perfectly good reason. I mean we are inevitably going to talk about what happened and I can't answer for him but my head is very confused so he may just have wanted to clear his head or something. I don't know just don't go jumping down his throat, he is your best mate and you know that he would never intentionally hurt one of his friends." I pleaded.

"Ok I guess you're right I mean he is my best mate I should at least give him the benefit of the doubt." he said with a soft smile but I could still see the worry behind his eyes. "You ok Lolly?"

"Yeah I am, confused and many other feelings but I am good." I said and gave him a hug.

"Hey guys - thought you were in the shower Lola - have any of you seen Harry?" tom asked as he walked into the room still looking like death warmed up. "No Why?" asked Danny as I lay back onto the bed and closed my eyes.

"Eh well apparently his girlfriend is at the door - you know anything about this Dan?" he asked.

My eyes shot open, my heart skipped a beat and my breath caught in my throat. What girlfriend?


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for all your reviews !! **

**This add is a little short but hopefully you will like it. Thanks for reading.**

Danny quickly grabbed my hand as Tom left the room, still on his search for Harry. "you OK, Lolly? This is the first I've heard of it, I swear" said Danny hurriedly.

"eh ….yeah… eh I guess Im ok oh god Danny I feel so stupid of course he has a girlfriend. I mean why wouldn't he? Just cause I like him doesn't mean no one else does." I could feel hot salty tears prickling behind my eyes pushing to be released. Danny pulled me into a hug. He didn't seem to know what to say. I knew Danny was wary of the notion of me and Harry but I know deep down that he always thought that Harry would never intentionally hurt me. Maybe he didn't mean to but if you have a girlfriend it is fairly inevitable that someone is going to get hurt.

"come on lets go see what this tramp looks like" I said. Yes I was being cruel, I'm sure she was a very nice girl but at that moment I was feeling seriously bitter and twisted and I didn't care.

"Lola are you sure that's a good idea? You could just end up hurting more" Danny quietly questioned.

"No come on I'll just make excuses for him if I don't see it with my own eyes." we traipsed down the stairs. I paused for a moment and took a deep breath before we entered the TV room. Danny still clutching on to my hand as a mode of support. We could hear idle chatter filtering from the room. When we walked into the room I saw her immediately she was a leggy blonde with tanned skin, perfect teeth and bright blue eyes so basically beauty personified. WOOP DE BLOODY DOO.

"hi you must be Danny" she asked enthusiastically. "Eh yeah hi don't mean to be rude but who are you ?" asked Danny bluntly yet politely. It wasn't her fault Harry was an ass . God I really was a bitter Betty today.

"Oh gosh how rude of me I'm Grace, Harry's girlfriend, I guess, we've only been seeing each other for a month or so but I'm cracked about him." she gushed. Danny squeezed my hand as he heard me breathe deeply. I glanced at Lyndsey, she gave me a sympathetic look, I wasn't sure if she had worked out what had gone on or she was just sympathising with me because she knew I liked him.

"so are you Danny's girlfriend?" she questioned. Crap! She was talking to me !

I so wanted to hate her but she seemed like a nice girl. I couldn't just ignore her. I could sense Danny was gearing up to answer for me but I beat him to it. "no, just friends,best friends." I was about to continue when I was interrupted. " Oh my gosh that means you must be Lola! I've heard so much about you, its great to meet you." she said in a seemingly genuine manner. I smiled in recognition but anyone who knew me would recognise that I was breaking on the inside. "so Grace tell us about yourself, how did you and Harry meet?" questioned Tom politely, attempting to keep the conversation flowing. If only he could see the death glares that Lyndsey was giving behind him, begging him silently to shut up for my sake.

"oh, well at the moment I'm doing quite a lot of modelling but I also want to get into acting. I did a degree in teaching at UNI so ill probably do that when im older but I just want to have some fun now. I met Harry at a club in town, we got chatting over some horrendously potent cocktails and I guess one thing led to another and I'm here." god she is pretty and intelligent aswell as a seemingly nice and genuine person. Why couldn't she be some money grabbing whore it would make my life so much easier. I had to get out of there. I was sure she was going to tell us some thing even more impressive like that she is about to find a cure for cancer and works in soup kitchens in her spare time, making me feel even worse.

Just as I stood up to leave, Harry entered the room with a towel over his head, attempting to roughly dry his hair. Danny's grasp on my hand grew even tighter and I could feel the rage begin to flow through him. I brushed my thumb against his hand in an attempt to calm him, the last thing I needed was to have to pull them apart from rolling around on the ground.

Lyndsey was biting her lip looking incredibly nervous. " hey babes, nice of you to join us, I've just been getting to know everyone, where have you been?" asked Grace cheerfully, she was oblivious to the razor like tension that been created in the room on Harry's entrance. Harry quickly stopped drying his hair and pulled the towel from atop his head. His eyes were wide and is mouth was agape. Grace's appearance had obviously caught him by surprise." eh hi grace" as he said this his eyes moved around the room. Stopping when they reached mine. I think I actually saw the blood drain from his face when he realised the situation that he had found himself in. After a few moments of keeping his gaze I tore my eyes away from his and gazed at the floor fighting the tears that were threatening to appear. After I was confident that I had control of myself I spoke up " well Grace it was lovely to meet you but I'm going to get dressed and head home." I said moving out of the room. Danny following quickly behind me. Our roles had changed he was no longer clutching on to my hand to support me but rather to stop himself from pummelling Harry into the ground.

I quickly went upstairs and threw my clothes on I wanted to get out of that house as soon as I could. " come on Lolly we'll go over to yours and have a Danny and Lolly day." said Danny as he put his jacket on. I nodded in response and made my way down the stairs, the conversation from the TV room filtered into the hallway.

"I know they said they are best friends but they look so cute together surely something else must be going on …" Mother of god could this get any worse now his girlfriend is trying to set me up with Danny . I looked at Danny questioning whether we had to go back into the room or not. "we're heading to Lolly's see you jerks later." yelled Danny as he pulled me out the door towards his car.

"right, first stop is McDonalds so that we can get some healthy grease to soak up this hangover, then the supermarket to get chocolate, ice-cream and everything else that helps to mend a broken heart and for when they don't work we will go to the off-licence and stock up so we can yell abuse and blame it on the drink, so come on chin up we have shopping to do." Danny exclaimed cheerfully . Over the years we had created a routine for when one of us broke up with someone or for when we were badly rejected . It was surprisingly effective.

I smiled weakly at him as we made our way to the drive through to collect our hangover cure.


	14. authors note

Authors note :

I apologise for the lack of updates to this story this is due to many things including exams, my computer breaking and going travelling. thank you all so much for reading and replying and i promise there will be a new chapter asap !! thanks and sorry again


	15. Chapter 14

**Finally here is the next chapter. I apologise profusely for the delay, I hope to add to this far more regularly from now on. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing I love hearing what you think about the story. This add is a little short but I hope its ok. Thanks again for reading.**

Chapter 14

The sun was beating down on me already even though it was still relatively early, I had spent the last half an hour gazing around the park pondering my situation with Lola, pretty much debating with myself whether or not to try and take the next step with her or to take the safe route and be happy that we are friends and not be greedy and hope for more when it could all go belly up and id be left with nothing. To put it mildly by head was a whirlwind of activity but to the outside world I just looked like I was basking in the early morning sun and taking in the view. I had moved from the bench and I was now lying on the grass mirroring last night's activity but now there were no stars to gaze at, they were but a memory now. Although I kept debating with myself it was becoming clearer and clearer that the only resolution that was going to occur was my continued pursuing of Lola, I couldn't see any possible resolution where I was content just being her friend. I would never be as happy without her as I would be with her. If she went out with other guys my jealous streak would go into to overdrive, most likely making my life a misery and annoying the crap out of her to the point where our friendship would be tested.

Eventually after much deliberation and some odd looks from passers by when I actually began talking to myself and laying out my different options I decided there was no other option but to hope to god that Lola wanted to go out with me as that was definitely what I wanted there was no denying it.

As I sat pondering all the different possible outcomes of my decision, I heard the familiar tinkle of my phone blaring from my jeans pocket. I lazily groped around my pocket until I felt the cold plastic beneath my fingertips. I held the phone in the air so as to block the sun from view and flipped open my phone.

"**Hey babe, how was the party? I was so gutted I had to work. Well**

**Give me a buzz when you get your lazy bum out of bed. **

**Kisses Grace. Xxxx**

I quite literally felt sick to my stomach. The phone dropped from my hand, heavily onto my chest landing with a harsh thud. How on earth could I forget that I was practically going out with someone? OK technically I wasn't going out with her, I had carefully avoided asking her that question because I felt the second I asked her to be my girlfriend; I was giving up on there ever being a chance to be with Lola. Although I had never asked her outright, I knew in my heart that she thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend and I had most likely led her to believe that.

The sense of blissful hopeful euphoria that had encompassed my body only minutes before had been replaced by a sense of dread that was making me feel severely nauseated - the fact that I was hung over was in no way helping the situation.

Grace was a lovely girl and if Lolly wasn't on the scene I would have asked her to be my girlfriend weeks ago, but the reality was that Lola was on the scene and I knew without a doubt that my heart belonged to her, grace had merely been renting it for a while, but making a decision between the two was most definitely not the problem.

I knew how much Lola deplored the idea of cheating; she had lectured the four of us on numerous occasions on the subject. Danny had swore never to cheat again after Lola had given out stink to him for "cheating" on his very first girlfriend by holding another girl's hand when he was twelve. Lola would hate that I had cheated on my sort of girlfriend but she would be far more irate by the fact that I had used her as an accessory to my infidelity. Oh Christ how do I manage to get myself into these messes?

I sent a bunch of birds flying from the nearby trees as I let out a frustrated cry. I lay there on the grass with my eyes shut trying to solve my problems. Nothing seemed to make sense to me, how could I go from blissfully happy, ok a bit confused and worried but very happy all the same to feeling so guilty and frustrated that it was bordering on a physical experience. As I lay there on the grass I felt like a massive weight had been placed on my chest, it was like a big pile of bricks was crushing my lungs. I thought the situation was as bad as it was going to get, then a thought hit me like a bolt of lightning. I had been worried about how Lolly was going to be furious with me I had failed to factor in how hurt she was going to be. The metaphorical bricks that had been laid on my chest before now seemed to have multiplied into enough bricks to build a three story house.

If Lolly liked me even a fraction of the amount that I liked her she would be crushed to hear that I had a girlfriend in the first place, let alone my infidelity. This sounded arrogant and egotistical but I knew that if I had to watch or hear about lolly seeing someone else, the sleeping jealous dragon inside of me, would awaken and roar with all its might. I felt myself resenting grace, I wished I had never met her, why did I speak to her that night why didn't I just do what I usually do and drink myself in oblivion and find some girl whom I wouldn't remember in the morning, but it wasn't her fault she was an innocent party in this whole mess, I was the cause of these problems but the small lame pathetic part of me couldn't help but acknowledge that she was the source no matter how much my brain and heart told me she had done nothing but be good to me.

I closed my eyes in frustration. As I lay there a breeze blew through the park, my nostrils were filled with the sweet smell of fresh grass and flowers. The breeze blew over my face and through my hair, in a way it soothed my aching head. A sense of clarity began to make its way through my mind. At the moment my head was trying to make sense of all the possibilities that could occur because of my actions, but that's all they were, possibilities, I could try and save this situation but I would have to act fast. First I had to deal with the Grace situation, at least then when I spoke to Lola about it, I could tell her that Grace was positively not on the scene any longer, I would work out the finer details later I just knew that was the first thing in a long list that I had to deal with.

I jumped up from my place on the grass and began the walk home. My journey home was a lot quicker than my journey to the park; I had a feeling of frantic urgency about me.

As I crept in the door I could hear people talking in the kitchen but I quickly made my way up the stairs, talking to people would only delay me. I was hoping I wouldn't run into Lola, I wanted to at least have one positive thing to say to her, me not having a girlfriend had to be that one thing it was the only way that those possibilities could stay possibilities for the time being. I ran into the bathroom and jumped in the shower in attempt to wash away my hangover, I needed a clear head.

I was putting on my shoes when I realised that I was going to have to borrow Tom's car grabbed my wallet and a towel in attempt to dry my hair and stumbled down the stairs. I could hear Tom talking in the sitting room so I blindly made my way into the room. As I entered the room I could sense that there were a number of people in the room even though they weren't talking. I didn't want to take the towel of my head and see Lola, not yet, I couldn't see her until I had spoken to Grace. I frantically rubbed my hair and prepared to remove the towel from my head when I heard a voice I never expected to hear. No scenario in my head had predicted this voice being present in my front room. "Hey babes, nice of you join us, I've just been getting to know everyone, where have you been?" Asked grace innocently. I tore the towel from my head, muttered a hello at her and looked around the room. I felt the blood leave my face when my eyes rested on Lola. A pang of jealously quickly hit me in the chest when I saw her clutching onto Danny's hand but that quickly dissipated when our eyes met, the hurt was so evident I felt her stare pierce its way through my body. She broke our gaze and still clutching onto Danny prepared to leave the room. "Well Grace it was lovely to meet you but I'm going to get dressed and head home." said Lola brightly and left the room. As they passed me I could sense Danny's anger emanating from him. I was left there with an expectant looking grace smiling at me, completely unaware the trouble her presence had caused.


	16. chapter 15

As Lola left the room I peered at the other occupants surrounding me. Grace was nervously smiling at me. Lyndsey continued to make polite conversation with her. "So how long have you and Tom been together?" grace asked inquisitively yet amiably. "Oh it must only be about five months but to be honest in kind of feels like we have been together for ages,, doesn't it hun?" said lyndsey. Tom lifted his head slightly and grunted in response his hangover obviously beginning to take further affect on his body. "What about Danny and Lola I know they said they are best friends but they look so cute together surely something else must be going on?" asked Grace. Usually Lyndsey would go off on a tangent agreeing completely but to my surprise she disagreed and protested that they were merely very close friends. We heard them come trampling down the stairs, "we're heading to Lolly's see you jerks later." Danny quickly shouted before they ran out the door slamming it behind them. After a few minutes Danny's car could be heard zooming out the drive and a silence overcame the room.

Tom was lazily looking towards the empty TV Screen, trying to deal with the consequences of copious amounts of alcohol from the previous night. Lyndsey was looking at me expectantly. I felt like her gaze was asking me a million questions, but she couldn't decide which question to articulate first, she looked a little sad and confused. I yearned for her to help me, Grace's arrival had sent my head into turmoil and I couldn't seem to function let alone think of a solution to this mess.

"hey Tom why don't you go and get some food for lunch this place has been cleared out and get some carpet cleaner from tesco while you're at it, this carpet is wrecked from all the drinks spilt on it last night." lyndsey said still looking at me inquisitively yet accusingly. Tom took a while to realise someone was talking to him and then had to use his, by the looks of it severely hung over brain to try and figure out what was being said to him.

"Eeuggh can we not just order in? my body still feels like its half dead from all that bloody tequila last night." he groaned while resting his head against the arm of the couch in an attempt to look helpless. " no come on we have to try and clean this carpet before its beyond repair and I can't go as I'm not dressed yet, plus the air will do you good and remember your pain is completely self inflicted therefore don't look for sympathy from me mister." she said with a chuckle while ruffling his hair. Tom groaned, slowly and reluctantly rising from his place on the couch." hang on how the hell am I supposed to know what cleaning products to get? lyndsey you have seen this place after a weekend when the cleaners haven't come in, I don't think we have ever bought anything even resembling cleaning stuff." said tom loudly and with a hint of joy, thinking this was his ticket back to his seat on the couch.

" I'll help you Tom! Harry here is obviously still in a sleepy daze so is no use to me yet so how about I go with you and help you pick up lunch and stuff and we can all sit down later and I can get to know you guys even more." said Grace sweetly. Grace was a genuinely lovely sweet girl so it sent a strong jolt of guilt run through me seeing her make such an effort with my friends when I knew I was most likely going to hurt her later on that day.

Tom smiled weakly and moved towards the door, "come on then my cleaning mentor, off we go." Grace jumped up from her seat. "See you later babe, drink some water it will help the hang over." she said planting a gentle kiss on my lips. "Eh yeah see ya." I said just before the door closed. I was still standing in the middle of the room I hadn't moved an inch since the moment my eyes rested on Lola's.

As we heard the car drive away and we both knew it was safe to speak candidly Lyndsey let out a loud and strenuous sigh.

" Harry what are you playing at, seriously I thought you were crazy about Lola, and I probably shouldn't say this but she is most definitely interested, but she is never going to go near you if you have a girlfriend, did you talk to her last night like you said you were going to ?" I silently moved over to the couch and pondered the questions she asked me. "I know Lola is interested, Lyndsey. We didn't really get to talk that much last night but stuff happened and now after meeting Grace she is probably never going to want to talk to me again." I said while resting my head in my hands and running my fingers roughly through my hair in frustration.

"What do you mean stuff happened?" said Lyndsey tentatively nearly sounding afraid of what I was going to tell her. I looked up into her face and found her eyes looking back at me with a strong need for information. I didn't really know how to describe what had happened, we had just spent the night kissing on the floor of the utility room which sounds very innocent and insignificant, but it was so much more. Each kiss was filled with such raw lust, passion and even love that they were anything but innocent and inconsequential. Each kiss had a million consequences and possibilities attached to it.

"Look we didn't sleep together or anything but we ended up spending the night kissing. Lyndsey, I know this is going to sound so stupid and cliché but it wasn't just a quick fumble in the utility room it was so much more, this is going to sound so ridiculous and you probably won't believe me but I actually forgot Grace even existed. Lola just has the weird affect on me that makes me forget the rest of the world. I can't lose her; I was so close to have it wrenched away from me is just too cruel. What the hell am I going to do?" my body now felt like it had been drained of all energy. Everything seemed to be crashing down around me and all those possibilities I had considered in the park seemed to have built themselves into reality.

Lyndsey sat in silence for a few moments, I could nearly hear her brain examining all the information it had just attained. I could sense Lyndsey wanted to scream at me for treating Lola so badly but as I felt her move off her seat and sit beside me I understood that she realised that her screaming at me would have no benefit, I was already berating myself enough. I think she knew that I had not meant to hurt her but I had hurt her and there was no changing that.

She placed an arm around my shoulders and rested her head on my shoulder. The world's best matchmaker was as clueless about the situation as I was. We sat there in silence waiting for the answer to my problems to make itself clear.


	17. note

**Author's note:**

**once again sorry for the delay in adding to this story, there will be a new chapter up ****a.s.a.p. **

**thank you all so much for reading and reviewing i really appreciate it and i love to hear what you think about the story.**

**there will be an add within the next day or two.**

**thanks again.**


	18. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I played with the remaining fries on my plate as I stared into space; mindlessly swirling the ketchup in random patterns across the now near empty plate.

"Lola if you're not going to eat those chips give them here and stop playing with them, remember I have way more alcohol in my body to soak up." Danny said cheerfully trying to produce a smile on my face.

I smiled weakly at him and shoved the plate across the table where Danny pounced on it almost immediately. I looked at him as he shovelled the food into his mouth.

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach repeatedly every time I thought about Harry, but a little flicker of happiness glimmered in the pit of my stomach when I looked at Danny. He was suffering through one of the worst hangovers he had ever experienced yet he had not let one ounce of negativity cross his face or appear in his demeanour.

As Danny placed the last chip into his mouth, he crunched up the food wrappers and readied himself to leave.

"Come on Lols now that we are fuelled up, we have many things to get before this Danny/Lolly day can truly commence in all its glory. There are many traditions that need to be followed so the mystical magic that occurs on a Danny/Lolly day can happen, now move your mopey butt we have to empty tesco of its stock of junk food." he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me towards the door.

As we wandered through the aisles of tesco grabbing everything and anything that from the shelves, people must of thought that we were stocking up for a big party with all the junk in our trolley. This theory would have been greatly strengthened when Danny piled our trolley high with beer and fluorescent coloured Alco pops. "Well they say the hair of the dog is the best cure for a hangover" he said defensively when I smirked at him.

We had nearly finished our shopping when we went in search of some straws- I point blank refuse to drink Alco pops out of the bottle, its just not ladylike - well that's what I tell people its really just that i love those cute bendy straws you get in clubs.

As we turned the corner I felt Danny freeze beside me. He quickly went to turn in the other direction but someone called him back.

"Fancy meeting you guys here!" I turned to face the voice only to feel my body repulse in shock when I saw its beholder.

Grace and Tom were both looking at us from the opposite end of the aisle holding about a million different bottles of carpet cleaner.

"Thought you guys were heading to Lolly's And here you are on some kind of secret date in tesco!" said Tom grinning. God I loved that guy but he couldn't actually be more clueless right now if he tried. I could feel my insides curdling with the discomfort of the situation. Grace was politely smiling, she didn't know us well enough to join in Tom's playful slagging, it was obvious she didn't want to overstep her boundaries and make a bad impression on Harry's friends - god if she was absolutely anyone else's girlfriend I would be singing her praises and congratulating them on finding someone who seemed so nice and for once had a brain, unlike the bimbos those boys usually come home with, but my pride and the remaining shreds of dignity within me refused to make her feel any more comfortable in the situation.

"yeah mate, I brought her to tesco on a red hot romantic date, that will definitely win her over, god you really need to get better at this slagging thing that was pathetic" jeered Danny. Tom just smirked at him in reply; he obviously had nothing of any wit to say in reply.

"Hey why don't you guys join me, Harry, Tom and Lyndsey for lunch, we are going to get stuff and bring it back to the house. We can get to know each other better." grace said enthusiastically. Although I tried to hide it id say the look of dread on my face was very clear for all to see. Even the suggestion of having to sit and watch Harry and his perfect girlfriend be all lovey dovey over lunch made me feel ill. " I'm afraid we can't Grace, Me and Lola have a date with her little brother to play video games, I promised the little monster ages ago, he is convinced that he will be able to beat the master." said Danny quickly. "Oh ok well maybe another time yeah." said grace nicely. Tom was looking at us like we had ten heads, obviously trying to figure out what we were playing at considering I didn't have a little brother. We nodded in reply. "Well I guess we will see you guys later, we best be off." I quickly said as we began to walk off down the way we came. As we turned the corner I looked back at them, Tom had returned to looking at the cleaning products but Grace was looking in our direction, as I turned I caught her eye and she smiled politely at me but as I turned away after attempting to reciprocate the gesture, out of the corner of my eye I saw a foreign expression make its way across her face. It was like a mixture of confusion, disbelief, worry and wonderment. It only stayed on her face for a matter of seconds, but for some unexplainable reason it sent a chill through me. As much as I wanted to dislike her, I couldn't which made the guilt that pulsed through my body all that more severe. I knew I was a somewhat innocent party in this mess as I hadn't known that the girl existed, but I had been an accessory to her boyfriend's infidelity, a fact which truly upset me, even if I thought I deserved to be happy and therefore deserved to get the guy I wanted, I didn't want to be THAT girl, the girl that preys on other peoples men. It just wasn't me. As I followed Danny around the shop in a daze, he found the aforementioned essential straws and we made our way to the checkout.

"We're home where are you jerks?" Tom shouted as he walked in the door. I was up in my room still trying to figure out my life. Lyndsey and I had sat in the sitting room in silence for ages trying to think up a solution but after while I couldn't handle it any longer and needed to be on my own so I jumped up off my seat and headed upstairs. I was hoping by some helpful miracle that grace would have decided to head home and leave me to sort out my head and figure out what I was going to say to her, not that she had any clue that any of this was going through my head. As I lay on my bed I heard some very soft footsteps make their way up the stairs, pausing slightly before they turned into my bedroom. I closed my eyes, hoping that my feigned sleep would send her back downstairs. The bed dipped slightly as she crawled up onto the bed and lay down beside me. She rested her arm around my waist and snuggled into my side, her warm breath tickling my neck as she rested her head on my shoulder. "You awake babes?" I heard her whisper, afraid of waking me. I wanted to feign sleep for longer but I knew she would cotton on eventually and I didn't want t be cruel, well even more cruel than I already had been.

"Yeah, I'm just dozing, what you get for lunch?" I said. "We got a whole load of stuff enough to feed an army, I'm sure you'll find something you like she said softly

while tracing her fingers across my chest gently. If I was honest it felt nice lying there with her, I mean I didn't not like her , I liked her a lot but I felt like I could truly

love Lola, my body urged for Lola, it didn't for Grace.

I moved off the bed and walked towards the door. "You coming for lunch?" I questioned. I couldn't talk to

her yet I needed to figure out what I was going to say. "Eh yeah, Harry are you ok? Have I done something?" she asked nervously sitting up and shuffling across the

bed. I didn't think it could sink any further but I felt my heart sink down into my body, weighed down with guilt. How did I constantly make innocent people feel guilty

when they have done nothing wrong, first Lola now Grace.

"You haven't done anything I promise, I'm just knackered come on lets get food." I said with a plastered

on smile. She grinned at me and walked out the door pulling me by the hand out the door, she went to lace her fingers through mine but I quickly distracted my hand

with the banister of the stairs.


	19. chapter 17

_**Sorry it has been so long since my last add. This add is a little short but I am currently writing the next one so it shouldn't be too long until there is a much longer chapter. I hope I still have readers left after such a long wait. If I do thank you so much for reading I really appreciate it! I would love to hear what you think about the story!! Anywho on with show……………..**_

**__**

After our shopping trip we spent the rest of the evening stuffing ourselves with all forms of junk food, and watching cheesy chick flicks while splayed out on the couch. When the credits began rolling on yet another happy ending where the girl got the guy of her dreams, I let out a low sigh and threw a cushion at the TV.

"You know Lols I have never understood why you insist on watching these movies every time you have been screwed over by a guy; it always just makes you feel worse. You have to realise that none of that stuff ever happens in real life" said Danny from the other end of the couch.

"Why not? Why can't stuff like that happen? Is it too much to ask to want someone to love me for me and want to do anything in their power to get me, if my track record is anything to go by apparently it is! God I hate men!!" I growled while shoving my head under a pillow that had previously been propping my head up quite nicely on the side of the couch.

"Come on we're not all bad, you like me? Don't you?" said Danny cheekily. "Yeah Dan I do like you, you're my best friend but you have done some seriously shady things to girls you have been going out with so don't be under the impression that I think you are in anyway an angel"

There was silence after that.

Usually me and Danny brushed over his behaviour with girls, to be honest I let him away with murder at times, when I really shouldn't but it was just easier. I felt Danny move off the couch.

A pang of dread ran through me, please tell me I hadn't alienated Danny now, I needed someone on my side that wasn't going to ditch me for some leggy blonde. I rolled over and removed my head from under the pillow to be greeted by the sight of Dan's knees in front of my face. I looked up; he had a sombre look on his face. "Shove over I want to lie down" he muttered quietly. I rolled over on the couch and placed my back up against the back of the couch. He slowly lay down in my place and somewhat apprehensively went to put his arm around my shoulders. I lay my head on his shoulder and we sat in silence for what felt like an eternity.

"Lolly what do you really think of me?" Danny said quietly after a while. I was a bit taken aback by this and didn't really know how to answer.

"What do you mean?" I asked somewhat nervously, knowing that my answer to his question was going to be greatly analysed. "I mean exactly that Lola, what do you think of me, as a person?" he said quickly. I thought about it for a few moments, knowing that my answer had to be carefully worded but that he wouldn't wait patiently for a reply either. " Danny I think you are a great guy, you are generous, kind, caring and loyal among many other great qualities but you also have slightly arrogant tendencies and you can be somewhat selfish when it comes to your needs over someone that you may not care that much about, even though that person may not be a bad person. Look Danny I love you to pieces and would never not want you around but when it comes to the way you have treated some girls, I haven't been impressed. You have been with girls that you know really like you and would like a long term relationship with you, but even though you're not interested you have strung them along because you like the attention, that's not right Danny and also it goes against how you treat your friends and family or how you would expect other people to treat them. It's not right to be a hypocrite in that way Dan, you're better than that!"

I ended my long winded speech in a loud voice, and then proceeded to lie back down and stare at the ceiling, hoping that I wasn't too harsh but knowing that everything I had said was right and needed to be said. Once again there was a silence that went on for what felt like an age. Danny's breathing was steady but I could feel the tension running through his body as my head lay on his chest. Dan didn't like people analysing him, he wasn't a closed book by any means but the thought of other people analysing his behaviour did perturb him, he never knew quite how to deal with it.

"Lola I never intentionally tried to hurt those girls! please tell me you know that Lolly?" he said desperately "of course I know that Dan but that doesn't mean you didn't hurt them and it could have been avoided, look Dan I'm not against you, I will defend you till the end but I just think that this hypocrisy is below you and that if you thought about stuff a bit more rather than going on your brute instinct, things would have a better outcome." I said while looking into his guilt ridden eyes.

I had called him up on something that I had eternally avoided throughout our friendship and it had hit him hard. He pulled me on top of him and wrapped his arms around me in a strong and desperate hug burying his face in my hair. I didn't really know why but I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes and there was no way of stopping them. I think Danny felt my body tense and begin to ever so slightly shake as he lifted my head up and looked me in the eye, seeing the tears falling from my eyes. He quickly pulled me back into a hug and soothingly rubbed his hand up and down my back.

"Its ok Lols, I'm here" he said quietly in my ear.


End file.
